Clinton St. Quarterly, Vol. 7 No. 1 | Spring 1985

cocaine hot line said they preferred cocaine to friends, family, work, sex and food. Cocaine: a non-addictive drug? battle #5: ^bata That humanity at large will ever be able to dispense with Artificial Paradises seems very unlikely. Most men and women lead lives at the worst so painful, at the best so monotonous, poor and limited, that the urge to escape...if only for a few and always has been one of the principle appetites of the soul. (Aldous Huxley) The psychic effect of [cocaine],..consists of exhilaration and lasting euphoria, which does not differ in any way from the normal euphoria of a healthy is simply normal. (Sigmund Freud) cAiCflt, Sujeel OIICPUGI I was five, the funniest thing was sitting on a swing twisting the chains around and around as tightly as they would go. And then releasing the swing and me, twirling and whirling, and ending up so dizzy I couldn’t even walk or think straight. And hyperventilating. And sucking balloons so I could talk duck talk. The extra-ordinary is a universal quest. They say it’s inherent—this craving to alter our heads. Getting dizzy, or ducklike, are primary manifestations. But then we age. And age mothers fear. And then fear in the guise of The Rules tries to stop us. DON’T TWIST THAT SWING. DON’T TALK THAT TALK. YOU’LL FAINT. And we stop. And the drive is pushed down. Or we hide. And do drugs. It’s an obvious phenomenon. Repress something then and it pops out now—antagonistic...and warped. MotheA, 9 Can 9t It may be possible to regulate the production of endogenous substances (internal highs) through conscious control...and govern their conscious experience.... (Classic Contributions to the Addictions, 1981) ^h e discovery of encfomorphins, those brain-produced opiates, proved to at least the world of science that our bodies can produce what drugs can. In fact, the structure of endorphins is precisely the same as the structure of opium. And there are sites set up to receive opiates in all of us. They did not evolve to react with opium. They evolved to react with ourselves. Learning to control our own juices has got to be the challenge for today. We were onto it for a while, but it passed out of vogue. (As if it were a matter of vogue in the first place.) That we can get high without the material world...that we are sejf- work towards realizing that would be revolutionary. But we get so used to instant gratification that we just don’t have the patience or the time. In essence, however, a self-contained high is a better high." Because it can be a much higher high. Because there are no tolerance levels, toxic levels or guilt. Because you don't have to worry. If you use Visine all the time, your tear ducts get lazy. They stop producing on their own. And if you get your highs from drugs all the time, your internal high producing abilities get lazy. YES. Drug-users may actually be de-powering their endorphin-producing mechanisms by artificially creating the states that mimic. It is a rape. *Z4e tyisud battle: ^he the dteasd We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. (T.S. Eliot) <Z4e WilctneAA. Witlun 24A, 9A the. Connection o^ -9.^ M ou cannot bandage global psychosis. You cannot make horrors go away by forcing them out of existence. That’s like spraying pesticidefe. Or using antibiotics so strong that they not only wipe out the infection, but also every growth, good or bad, that is in the way. It’s imperialistic. My generation—this poor-little-rich- baby-boom generation—brought up in such a schizophrenic time. We were born when all the American myths were still intact. And we’ve lived through the deterioration of them all. It is hard. But I thought we were onto something new. I thought we were going to rise above the wasteland into some sort of wild, but pure, anarchism. We were going to follow the rules of the Earth, based on Real and Grounded Values. So what happened? There is no question that it is damn strident, stringent and stupefying out there. Everything is on the edge. It’s too loud, too bright, too muddled, too crowded, too big. Your senses can get scorched out there. But if there isn't a way to rise above it, wouldn’t we already be dead? I’m not attempting to encourage the heavy hand of the law, nor can I deny the pleasures of mind-expanding earth-made drugs. BUT I think it’s time to phase out our man-made crutches. The real revolution would be to get clean. The real revolution would be to have fun, get high, and produce our masterpieces powered solely by ourselves. Otherwise, it seems like the artificiality inherent in this society is inherent in what we do. It is absurd, ironic and idiotic that this generation that has always rejected the prescription of pre-packaged remedies...this generation that has always criea out against the kind of mentality that looks to materialism and consumerism for fulfillment...would be so wild about the cocaine edge...that pale, hollow rush. Because with cocaine we are caught up in all that can scorch, like moths are caught up by the lamp. And that is pathetic. It makes us the biggest hypocrites of them all. Leanne Grabel is a frequent contributor to the CSQ who just put together her first book of poetry. She lives in Portland. Andrew Larkin is a member of Portland’s Inkling Studio. come to the Sea Sprite — 5 blocks north of Tolovana Store, call 436-2266, or write P.O. Box 66, Tolovana, OR 97145 CANNON DEACH DOOK COMPANY P.O. Box 634 132 North Hemlock Cannon Beach, OR 97110 (503) 436-1301 a n n o n B e a c h "Quite simply, the Best" Selected the finest seafood restaurant in Oregon Oregon Magazine. December 1984 1287 S. Hemlock Hours: Cannon Beach, OR Dinners begin at 5:30 436-1179 Tues.-Sat. ich moj From From Portland State L'niverefty Post Office Box 1491 Portland, Oregon 97207 for brochure One of the nation's most t programs. Spend a week or painting, writing, photogi Jltan Portland 229-4832 1-B0b452-49Q9 ■ I wWandini 34 Clinton St. Quarterly