Clinton St. Quarterly, Vol. 6 No. 3 | Fall 1984 (Seattle) /// Issue of 24 /// Master# 57 of 73

so did half the other people in the battalion. And she got pregnant. And she didn’t know who did it. And then she broke some rule. And they went into her room. And they found her diary. And she had every guy’s name and cross-references and how good he was in bed. And everything. Well... not all women are like that. But let me put it this way: they're going to get ahead. I mean, they do it on the outside. But in the military, it's more prevalent. It gets really frustrating. They’ll butter up some old crank. Women don't belong in the military. Administrative work, fine. But out in the field, get them outofmyhair. They are sickening. I mean, what do women always carry around with them? Goddamn purses. Look how insecure they are. What’s the first thing they do when they get upset? They grab their purses. And they swish them around. You don't need that. Or when they see a kitty or a rabbit. And they say, “Oh, how cute. Oh. ” But if I take that rabbit and break its goddamn neck, what are they going to say? They’re gonna say I 'm a warmonger or something. A killer. What the hell? It’s the goddamn Marine Corps. Two hundred and eight years of tradition. Oh, poor rabbit. They should be able to take that thing and bite the damn head off. Man, they’re supposed to be Marines. That really upsets me. are conditioned to feed. Men take the en- tropic energy of modern life and thrust outward with it. They punch. They pound. They scream. They grunt. And women take the entropic energy of modern life and swallow it. The poison fruit. And it turns into depression. And sadness. And pain. The mejhods we employ to defend ourselves are of different design. We are different. The Marine got angry at the end of the interview. He said some truly obnoxious things about women. He was frustrated at women for going after what he considers HIS goods ... is what I think. BeMcMAHUS SHOE REPAIR TELEPHONE 524-1820 QUALITY OUR SPECIALTY 37 yeand in hwinedd at Tame lacaiirnrk' Have your shoes repaired with confidence. MARGARET McMANUS 3404 N.E. 55TH ST. SEATTLE,WASH. 98105 Oh Really?? 1 1 t this point, the Marine was getting red in the face. And I was ripping flesh furiously from my cuticles. I rushed downstairs and made coffee. And we both chainsmoked about 45 cigarettes. Then he left. I immediately called up a friend and ranted and raved about (excuse me, I have to get raw) fascist cocksuckers. I ran into the Marine about a month later. I was actually quite glad to see him. And vice versa. He was raving about the fear in the people in Portland. And about how nobody wanted the Truth. They wouldn’t listen. He was thinking strongly about returning to the Corps. The Marine: / came out here to readjust. I don’t really understand this life anymore. I can stay here for six months and be a complete asshole. And then go back to New England and be my new self. Because, as I say, I went in a punk, and I came out a man. And I'm sitting here thinking what am I going to do with my future. And now my future is here. And it’s raw. I think what I'd be doing if I didn’t go in. I’d probably be working some shitty little job. The same shitty little grind. I’d probably be married. And she’d be bitching at me because I ain’t making enough damn money. But now look at me. I’m independent. The most I’m in debt is $500 to Sears. That's $22/month. But I'm having a hard time readjusting. I’ll go back to New England. Live in the woods. I don’t want to be a hermit. I’ll have a job. But I’ll build my own house with my own hands. Out there people respect your privacy. Not like my little apartment building where everybody’s gotta know your business. Hell. For four years everybody knew if I farted one night. But now that I'm out, I miss the Marine Corps. I miss the prestige of being a Marine. Marines are animals. We abase momen. children and other men. The Marines are also, though, the nicest people aliue. They are the most polite. They'll call euerybody Mam. cause the goods are limited enough. And the competition is fierce enough. And life is hard enough . . . without the womenfolk nudging the Marine’s stability. And knocking down historical limits in which he believed. And from which he drew strength. It isn’t even his fault. So the Marine got mad. Instead of intellectualizing his anger. Or sublimating his anger. Or swallowing his anger... the Marine got mad and began ranting. He didn't get mad at me. He didn’t kick the coffee table. He didn’t smash the tape recorder. He just picked out a scapegoat and ranted. Fine. He processes his anger his way. And I process my anger my way. And to tell you the truth, on a personal survival level, I think he’s got me beat hands down. My anger still filters through my brain, no matter how loudly I forbid it. And it tries to find something else to call itself. Anything else. Because anger, being loud, is so undignified. Devolution Now Mexican Cuisine of the Yucatan EL CAFE New Location! Savour our Authentic Sauces 9am-3pm 5pm-10pm Lounge 11-1:30am 7 Days a week 6106 Roosevelt Way NE 526-2434 BAILEY/COY BOOKS 1408 broadway east 1323-8842 Thank God Tm The Girl I suppose like any other boy I had one best friend in the neighborhood His name was Eugene and he was bigger Than I was and one year older. Eugene used to whip me pretty good. We fought all the time. Charles Bukowski The Bee S now it is time for the wrap up. I have interviewed the Marine. I have read all the books I could find on manhood. I have slowly sucked on all the information, like a piece of hard candy, for weeks. And I have hoped to be left with some sort of lucid taste in my mouth from which I could derive this elusive point. And what am I left with? WOMEN AND MEN ARE DIFFERENT. That's it! There is no blame! Men are conditioned to hunger. And women But the point-point of this article — what I actually learned from the whole process — is that I am not as modern as I thought I was. And neither are you. And all values developed before 1965 are not hogwash. Our instincts are as old as the hills, and not very antiseptic. Thick, theoretical thought cannot convince them into slickness. Anger, jealousy, hate, pride — all these emotions we have tried to neutralize and process away — are of the heart and gut — just as is love. They are instinctual. They are of the earth. So, on the one hand, I salute the Marine’s primitivism because it is also of the earth. Grunting and thrusting as a means of release is appealing. Especially since choking on my own emotions, caught in modern mental blockages for too long and thus released in a fermented state, has really been making me sick. But on the other hand, brutality, fascism, imperialism — and breaking the necks of innocent little bunnies — cannot be justified. No way. They, I am sure, are distortions. The resolution?? Well, it’s rather old and well-worked, but again, it seems to always work in a clutch: FOLLOW THY HEART FOR IT HOLDS THE WISDOM OF THE AGES. / used to dream radical dreams of blowing everyone away with my perceptive powers of correct analysis i even used to think id be the one to stop the riot and negotiate the peace then I awoke and dug that if i dreamed natural dreams of being a natural woman doing what a woman does when she's natural I would have a revolution revolutionary dreams Nikki Giovanni Bravo, Nikki! And viva la revolution. Leanne Grabel is a writer living in Portland whose last CSQ article was “Sub in the City.” Susan Gofstein is an artist living in Seattle. " ON THE BOARDS NORMAN DURKEE (Seattle) “Oxymora ' — a world premiere November 29-December 16. 1984 TRISHA RROWNHn (New York) “Set and Reset" (music by Laurie Anderson; visuals by Robert Rauschenberg) March I & 2, 1985 Seattle Center Playhouse L AL AL AHUMAN STEPS (Montreal) April 11-14, 1985 On the Boards 153 14th Ave (at Fir St) Seattle 98122 THE 1984-5 NEW PERFORMANCE SERIES FALSO MOVIMENTO (Naples, Italy) "Otello" October 11-14, 1984 INUIT THROATSINGERS (Povungnituk. Canada) January 24-26, 1985 SPALDING GRAY (New York) “Interviewing the Audience March 28-30, 1985 MARKMORRISB (Seattle) May 9-11. 1985 For Series Brochure Call 325-7901 Full and Partial Series Available Clinton St. Quarterly 7