go. Or perhaps the fantasy can’t let Jim Goodwin go. He begins to talk about it. One day he tells Sue, “ I have this friend, C aro l.. . . She says she wants to swing with us." (He is lying. He has never spoken with Carol about swinging.) “Us?” Sue asks. “ Yes. You know Carol. She said she was interested in you; and I’ve been both of your lovers, so I thought maybe for my birthday .. . ” Jim rushes on. “Are you serious?” asks Sue. “ Sure." Sue does not say another word. But for a week, at every chance. Jim pushes for a threesome with Sue. Jim sees Carol one afternoon and tells her, “ Sue wants to make it with you and me." (Another lie.) Carol says nothing. “My birthday is soon.” Jim adds hopefully. Carol is silent. One day, while making love, just as Carol is about to come, Jim pulls back. “Will you?” he asks, demands. Carol, who at that moment would agree to anything, says okay. He pushes gently into Carol’s honeypuss and grinds softly against her love pearl. Her eyes stare unseeing. "Ohhh yessss,” she says. Sue, blonde Sue, agrees finally, for his birthday and his silence. “ I’ve never been with a woman," she tells him. Jim Goodwin is very pleased with himself. His rock-hard whoozitz is a constant bystander as his birthday nears. On the day before the night of his birthday party. Jim goes kind of crazy. He buys two bottles of French champagne. He actually cleans his apartment, washing all the dishes, the stove top and the toilet. He makes his water bed with clean sheets. He gets smaller bulbs for his lamps. He buys an ounce of Hawaiian snob dope (two hundred smackers an ounce). He scores a gram of coke (another two hundred). He bakes a chocolate cake. He lines up all the right records. Then he goes to a twenty-dollar barber and returns home to wait. Sue shows up first. Jim kisses her, but she doesn’t respond, seems cold. She keeps asking him the time. They smoke dope, but the tension does not leave. They don't say a word. Finally, Jim points out that Carol will arrive soon. He manages a pained, hurt look. In some sympathy, Sue kisses him. It is. after all, his birthday. He is 30 and all this might be fun. Carol shows up in a rush of color. She knows Sue slightly. Awkwardly, Jim introduces them. They are shaking hands, for God’s sake. Immediately he starts rolling joints. Carol asks Sue what she does. Sue is a programmer. Carol is a landscape architect. Jim, with a Ph.D. in English lit., is big in ad sales. But he is working on a novel, of course. In silence, they smoke dope and snort coke. Toot. toot. Jim Goodwin reaches over and kisses Sue, then Carol. They smile at him. "Have you ever been with a man and a woman?" Sue asks Carol. “No. The closest I ev&r got was reading Attatchements. And that was two men and they were Siamese twins.” “Hey, let’s play strip poker!" says Jim, pulling off his Qiana shirt. “ Isn't Attatchements a fine conceit?” says Sue to Carol, ignoring Jim’s suggestion. “Right," says Carol. "Somehow she uses the Siamese twins and the lonely woman to constantly emphasize both the subtle and obvious diversity and complexity of the human situation.” “Sure,” says Sue, "but not of the human condition as the dilemma of people who are alone. It's the relational aspect, the interaction of people, that she really exposes." “Or maybe Carol could just undress Sue or something?” says Jim. “And you know," adds Carol. Attatchements constantly affirms the positive aspect of the human need for those very self-same difficult relationships. And not just physical needs; spiritual and psychological as well. Intellectual, too.” "It’s a more hopeful book than Mr. Goodbar. though,” suggests Sue. "Isn’t that a horrible story? And, of course, it’s pretty much true," "Hey, what about a shower?” asks the anxious Jim. But Sue doesn’t seem interested. Carol doesn’t seem interested, either. Jim thinks: "Attatchements. Goodbar, shit." "You know,” says Sue, “it’s as if Goodbar was a cry against the idea that relationships can exist on only one plane. There has got to be personal as well as intellectual empathy.” Sue’s hand touches Carol's and stays for a moment. Carol seems to see Sue as if for the first time. They smile. “Maybe," says Carol, “it’s not possible for some people to see that at all. Maybe there only can be the empathy you’re talking about when people have enough in common.” “Like the same cultural experience?” asks Sue. “Like black people or something?” “Or women," says Carol. "Yes, or women,” says Sue. “Did you read The Women's Room?" Carol asks as Jim reaches across Sue to kiss Carol. “Show' me your nipples!" pleads Jim to either or both women. “ I read it," says Sue, ignoring Jim’s weight and suggestion. "But I thought it wasn’t all that well written." " I t’s hard to maintain a good style when you have so much to get out, I guess,’’ Carol admits. “Oh. please let’s take a shower," begs Jim again. The women look at him at last and remember their commitment. “Okay," says Sue. “Why not,” adds Carol. "Oh boy!" thinks Jim. Shiny and naked in the shower, they soap each other. Jim spins from one to the other like a dog trying to choose between liver and kidney. Nervous novice that he is. he drops the soap. As he bends over to pick it up. Sue does the obvious. Jim jumps forward and slams his head on the tiles. Off balance, he grabs at Sue’s arm. There is soap in his eyes. He misses Sue and grabs Carol's breast by mistake. Too hard! Carol jumps back against Sue, who, to steady herself, hugs Carol as blind Jim sits down hard. Looking up, as his eyes clear, Jim sees Carol and Sue embrace and then kiss. The water has a new sparkle. Carol and Sue move with gentleness in the spray. As they kiss, their breasts fit together. Jim stands and puts his arms around them both. And kisses first one. then the other on ears, necks and nipples. And they return his kisses. They stand swaying in a warm, wet tangle now, laughing and touching each other freely as the water falls pounding on their heads, backs and breasts. Jim dries Sue. Sue dries Carol. Caro! dries Jim. “ It’s gonna happen,” thinks Jim. “ It's gonna work.” Once dry, they fall onto the waterbed. which rises like a sea around them. As Sue and Carol kiss, Jim drops to the golden fur of Sue’s sweetening honey pouch. Sue’s head falls away to rest on the hollow of Carol’s shoulder and neck. Jim is very busy, hard at work, lapping like a kitten drinking milk from a pretty pink bowl. Sue opens her arms to Carol, who moves her thigh over Sue’s waist and hips. But soon Carol’s leg is shoving against Jim's ribs somehow, and this hurts. Suddenly he slides up Sue and, with a rush, enters her pink and golden bowl. As Carol kisses Sue’s nipples. Sue cries out in pleasure. She returns Carol's kisses. Jim notices that the women are whispering together. They can hear, but he can’t. This bothers him. He rams deep into Sue's slippery sanctuary. Sue, who is a small woman, writhes and moans deeply. This is it! Jim’s dream come true! Enchantment without end, he thinks. Yet even as he feels the fullness of his joy, there are stirrings of doubt. Carol and Sue keep moving their hands in fine and complex patterns over each other’s bodies and faces. They don’t seem all that concerned with exploring him. He is angry somehow at the way things are going. They seem so close, and yet he isn’t really with them, sharing their whispered secrets. Not that it isn’t the way he pictured it. It’s perfect. The three of them, his whoozitz. Yet there are some things about it that be didn’t expect. Hard and horny, he pulls out of Sue to try another position. Now Carol and Sue face each other. They smile and kiss softly over and over again. Their thighs intertwine and rub softly at each other’s center. Carol’s back is to Jim. He moves his hands to her ass. spreading the muscled globes apart. He slides his hand down along the rich fullness and deep cleft between. One finger touches quickly at the tightness behind Carol's honeywell. There are short sharp hairs around the spot. As his hand moves on. the hairs grow softer, longer, damper. He uses his fingers to spread her. He flips his hips forward. His dhongh slides into the deep, softly clinging well. His senses are singing. But the music of his love is jarred by still more discord. The rhythm of his flesh is not in agreement with the beat of the two women. To establish control. Jim reaches around both women, hugging them tight to him. But he is not strong enough. He attempts to force his power upon them with a finger at Sue's rear. But Carol’s hand is already softly there, and soon they seem not even to notice him. He becomes violent, smashing hard, shoving cruelly, deeply with hands, whoozitz, whatever. But now Carol and Sue talk only to each other. They urge each other on without him. “You can do it,” Carol says. “Yes,” says Sue. “oh. I do want to! Oh yesss!! Right there. Yes, hun uhhh. Jim's concentration founders. He wants them to pleasure each other. But not without his control, and certainly not this much. He feels lonely and scared. And then Carol has turned slightly, and he falls away from her. He shoves forward again, reenters her, but the sense of power is gone. There is no way for him to reach her depths or feel what he felt in his dream. He recognizes the sounds of their rising pleasure. He is still in contact with Carol, but as they twist and roar in ecstatic bliss, he feels like a hindrance. Like a cracker crumb in the sheets or a book or pencil left forgotten amongst the covers in a moment of sudden passion. A small nuisance, little more. They roll away from him. He does not follow. They are giggling, laughing, damn near singing, and all of it without him. legs and lips, ass and tits flash in the lamp light; just as he has dreamed it for so long. But it is not for him. It is for them. Jim Goodwin lies now on his back beside the two women on the king-size waterbed. He holds his throbbing hard-on, jerking fast and slow. He is thinking of Farrah. She stands facing him. The nipples of her braless breasts are limned against the thin material of her T-shirt. Her hands move slowly down the side of ribs and hips. Her hands grasp the waistband of h e r . . . .
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