May 1979 RAI N Page 13 If I had read just one book I might have thought I was doing things the right way. By reading many, I only knew that it was up to me to choose among the many options offered in good faith. It became obvious that there are no right answers, just good ways of doing things. I was forced to listen to my insides. I had to do what felt okay, tasted good and resonated with my beliefs. My body became my teacher. It also became truly my own in a way it had never been before-paradoxically, at a time when it often felt it had been taken over by the little creature growing inside. I think I ended up better prepared to take on the responsibility for my child's care than I would have been otherwise, and I took a huge step forward in knowing the real meaning of self-help heal th care. The decision of where and how to give birth is another biggie these days that one can't escape. The options range from a traditional hospital delivery to an unattended homebirth, with family-centered hospital birth, birthing center, and midwife-or doctor-attended homebirth falling in between. There are advantages and disadvantages, dangers and delights attached to any of the options. Staph infections in hospitals may be more dangerous than quasi-sterile home condi tions, complicated monitoring and emergency equipment may be a blessing or an expensive curse. Being at home may be a joyful spiritual experience or a tragedy. You never know till it's over what you will need. All the willpower and courage in the world may not be able to prevent an emergency Caesarean operation. The decisions on where and how to give birth must rely on your own sense of the risks involved and the options you have available to you. While we were committed to homebirth as healthy and natural and had an excellent set-up (with the possible exception of our distance from the hospital), we ended up in a standard delivery room-though the lights were dim, Tom gave the Leboyer bath , the baby nursed while I was still on the table, and we went home as soon as we had done all the paperwork.... You have to be clear about what you want, but open to necessary changes in plan. In most communities, how and where is still something of a political decision if you want anything outside the traditional. While times are definitely changing and the medical profession is loosening up , it is still usually a fight to get what you want -whether in the hospital or outside of it. We thought we were incredibly lucky to have easily found a qualified and experienced nurse-midwife in our area-it was just what we wanted. But our timing was such that the hospital she worked with was getting jittery (and feeling the competition) and her own confidence about the importance of her mission was seriously being shaken. "Ve ended up becoming embroiled in the politics of bucking the established medical tradition. In the long run it was worth it because every doctor we talked to was made a little more aware of the positive side of having a baby at home and in the process of reassuring the hospital, our midwife discovered the depth of her support within the community and was thus strengthened herself. A community birth information network was also begun. But again, there were times when I wondered why I bothered to do things differently than the norm-l chuckled ironically at my vision of a blissful pregnancy knitting booties as I was thrust instead into an activist's role again in order to be able to have the kind of birthday we felt was important. Hopefully our part in the fight made it more possible for others to choose as we did-both in our community and beyond. It brought home to me once again the realization that taking responsibility for one's own actions involves commitment of time and energy-especially if one is trying to break the barriers into new ways of doing things. It's not the easy way of behaving-but it's worth it. 0 ~ , '? .... " ~ 0 , • a: >-. OJ .... .D ,.. - <I:" ~ OJ -/ " t 0 u .... 0 '" ""' " ~ c ..c: '" Resources In my usual way, I read a number ofbooks both before and during my pregnancy. A II were useful in helping me know what to expect, but all got in the way somewhat of my own experience. Some of the things I felt were never mentioned in any of tbe books I read. The heavy spiritual quality that is almost de rigueur these days was not particularly a part of our birthing. Of course it was a beautiful, awe-inspiring occasion, but it was also such damn hard work for all of us that the moment many wrote about when father and mother look into their newborn's eyes and see the cosmos just didn't happen. We were tired, he was tired, and it was several days before we made any real connection. Even the Leboyer bath wasn't all that big a deal (be belched once and twitched a lot). What I'm saying is, read as much as you want to., but take it all with a grain af salt-and knaw that yaur awn experiences will be as different as yau are fram everyane else. This is hardly an exhaustive list. I read samewhere that there are naw abaut JO birth-related baaks being published each month, so there's no. way to. keep up with them all. These are some that I enjoyed. The Birth Primer, Rebecca Row Parfitt, , 1977, $5.95 from: Running Press ,. 38 South 19th St. -. Philadelphia, PA 19103 This book is a good place to start if e you have no idea which of the many ,,~ tions you 'd like to choose for the birth ...,.,. of your baby-or would like to go over them in a clear and organized fash io n. It includes a good description of labor, covers the different types of natural childbirth methods as well as different drugs available, and discusses the wide variety of birthplaces possible. It also gives extensive, well-annotated referen ces so you can dig more deeply into areas that interest you. Immaculate Deception: A New Look at Women & Childbirth ill America, Suzanne Arms, 1975, $6.95 from: Bantam Books 666 Fifth Ave. New York, NY 10019 This book still sums up the case against hospital and doctor-centered childbirth as well as any-and it was one of the first to do so. It is both passionate and
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