Page12 RAIN May 1979 by Lane de Moll It's been hard to find time or energy in the midst of my new duties as a mother, but this morning it feels important to leave the pile of diapers be and catch a few hours while Skye sleeps to write down some of my thoughts about our pregnancy and birth. It's tempting to write a blow-by-blow account of the ups and downs of the birth itself, but I've read so many such stories that I've become a bit jaded on them. There are as many variations on the theme as there are births, but many good collections of them exist (see below) and I'll not add mine to the pile. It seems more important to dig more deeply than the immediate experience into the learning that I did-and am doing-in the almost magical process of being with child Suffice it to say that we planned a homebirth with my brother and his family attending, assisted by a wonderful nurse-midwife we had been working with throughout the pregnancy. I went to a doctor twice-once in my third month and again in the last month . The rest of the time I had my prenatal check-ups with the midwife. The labor began at home and went well for several hours, but then with my cervix dilated 8 cm (the special time called transition), something stalled. After eight hours, at the same stage with multiple contractions and strong urges to push, we decided to go to the hospital. The combination of the bumpy 25-miJe drive and a catheterization did the trick, and Skye was born an hour after we arrived. We were home again-all three snuggling in bed-after another hour and a half. Our disappointment in not actually delivering at home was keen, but we felt right about the way we had all handled the decision to go in and, of course, thankful that all had ended well. It was a continuation of the learning we had done throughou t the pregnancy Giving birth has always been an awesome learning experIence. There is nO way one can feel the tiny life growing inside and then pushing its way forth through your body to be nurtured in your arms without coming in touch with a great deal of the universe and one's own soul. But in these days of choices to be made about where and how to have one's child -even if to have a child at all- the learning involved can have a particularly profound effect on one's life. It is still possible to hand your body over to a doctor's care-taking whatever vitamins he or she (but usually he) prescribes, and in the end being delivered at a convenient date and time. Yet increasing g..., c.." ::l rJl :~\j:~\l\\\\\\\\\\\l\l\:\\\:\!. numbers of us are now choosing to take more active roles In our pregnancies and deliveries and in the process learning what it really means to take responsibility for our own health care Like so many of the do-it-for-yourself choices, it's not as easy as it sounded at first. I found myself often wishing for the comfortable way out-not that I wanted drugs during my labor. Once I had made the commitment to natural childbirth, that part was relatively easy to stick to. But [ often thought longingly of the days when I trusted what a doctor told me without question. Having to make all the decisions myself took a lot of time-and a steadfastness I did not always feel There are no easy rules of thumb these days. For every person or book who said "limit your salt intake," there was someone admonishing me to be sure I was getting enoughdepending on whether they thought retained fluids a hazard or a need. I was cautioned about gaining weight as often as I was told to increase my protein intake to 80-100 grams a day and "get plenty of carbohydrates" (or "stay away from carbohydrates")-"don't worry about how much weight you gain" (or "try not to gain more than 30 pounds"). It was the first time in my life that it really mattered that 1 did the right thing. It was someone else's health I might be jeopardizing, not just my own. Yet it was totally up to me to decide-l had not entrusted myself to the hands of a doctor, and while my midwife offered suggestions and gave me things to read, she assumed I was responsible enough to make my own decisions
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