EmpoWord: A Student-Centered Anthology & Handbook for College Writers

Appendix A: Strategies and Concepts for Revision 456 Local Revision Activity: Cutting Fluff When it’s late at night, the deadline is approaching, and we’ve simply run out of things to say… we turn to fluff. Fluff refers to language which doesn’t do work for you— language that simply takes up space or sits flat on the page, rather than working economically and impactfully. Whether or not you’ve used it deliberately, all authors have been guilty of fluffy writing at one time or another. Fluff happens for a lot of reasons. • Of course, reaching a word- or page- count is the most common motivation. • Introductions and conclusions are often fluffy because the author can’t find a way into or out of the subject, or because the author doesn’t know what their exact subject will be. • Sometimes, the presence of fluff is an indication that the author doesn’t know enough about the subject or that their scope is too broad. • Other times, fluffy language is deployed in an effort to sound “smarter” or “fancier” or “more academic”—which is an understandable pitfall for developing writers. These circumstances, plus others, encourage us to use language that’s not as effective, authentic, or economical. Fluff happens in a lot of ways; here are a few I’ve noticed: Thesaurus Syndrome A writer uses inappropriately complex language (often because of the right-click à Synonyms function) to achieve a different tone. The more complex language might be used inaccurately or sound inauthentic because the author isn’t as familiar with it. Roundabout phrasing Rather than making a direct statement (“That man is a fool.”), the author uses couching language or beats around the bush (“If one takes into account each event, each decision, it would not be unwise for one to suggest that that man’s behaviors are what some would call foolish.”)