Empoword

Appendix A: Concepts and Strategies for Revision 466 Thesaurus Syndrome A writer uses inappropriately complex language (often because of the right-click  Synonyms function) to achieve a different tone. The more complex language might be used inaccurately or sound inauthentic because the author isn’t as familiar with it. Roundabout phrasing Rather than making a direct statement (“That man is a fool.”), the author uses couching language or beats around the bush (“If one takes into account each event, each decision, it would not be unwise for one to suggest that that man’s behaviors are what some would call foolish.”) Abstraction or generalities If the author hasn’t quite figured out what they want to say or has a too broad of a scope, they might discuss an issue very generally without committing to specific, engaging details. Digression An author might get off topic, accidentally or deliberately, creating extraneous, irrelevant, or unconnected language. Ornamentation or flowery language Similarly to Thesaurus Syndrome, often referred to as “purple prose,” an author might choose words that sound pretty or smart, but aren’t necessarily the right words for their ideas. Wordy sentences Even if the sentences an author creates are grammatically correct, they might be wordier than necessary. Of course, there’s a very fine line between detail and fluff. Avoiding fluff doesn’t mean always using the fewest words possible. Instead, you should occasionally ask yourself in the revision process, How is this part contributing to the whole? Is this somehow building toward a bigger purpose? If the answer is no, then you need to revise. The goal should not necessarily be “Don’t write fluff,” but rather “Learn to get rid of fluff in revision.” In light of our focus on process, you are allowed to write fluff in the drafting period, so long as you learn to “prune” during revisions. (I use the word “prune” as an analogy for caring for a plant: just as you must cut the dead leaves off for the plant’s health and growth, you will need to cut fluff so your writing can thrive.)