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Cannes—Not During the annual celluloid pilgrimage to the south of France, Spike Lee sums up American life in the early 90s, by describing the United States as "champion of democracy, freedom and justice...only in Hollywood movies." Row Your Boat ^ Yugo After more than six months adrift at sea, two fishermen are found washed ashore in Western Samoa, more than 1,000 miles from home. After capsizing in their dinghy, they floated on the Pacific Ocean, living on rainwater and fish caught with a spear and a sin­ gle line. Ironically, their rescue coincided with the racing of the America's Cup. None of the Above "In fact, the more dis­ tortion and lies and deceit you hear, the more you know that people have an instinct for freedom." After Bosnia-Herzegovina and Croatia suffer massive casualties and senseless bombard­ ment, the United Nations Security Council imposes sanctions against Serbia and its ally Montenegro on May 30. The Serbs blame the fighting on independent militia outside its con­ trol, yet the excuse soothes no one, especially after a mortar attack on a crowd of people waiting for bread in Bosnia kills 20. —Noam Chomsky ROLLING STONE, MAY 1992 In an Oregon election season where apathy became a badge ' of honor, election officials held the May 19 primary anyway. In one of the closest races in state history. Rep. Les Aucoin led tycoon Harry Lonsdale by a mere 300 votes in the Democratic Senate primary. A recount proved Aucoin the victor, but more folks cared whether the Blazers would beat the Bulls. In local races, Vera Katz narrowly missed securing an outright majority in her bid for the mayor's office as Earl Blumenauer slunk into a November runoff. City com­ missioner and sexual harasser Dick Bogle finished third in his bid for re-election. Sadly, the enlightened minions of Springfield passed a measure which denies gays and lesbians basic constitutional rights afforded other citizens. Instead of voting in November, a mere suggestion is that you assem­ ble, march, and protest against the racist, misogynistic, homophobic, elitist powers that be — Bring the System to Its Knees. Censoria Project Censored releases its annual 10 most underreported stories of the year: CBS and NBC share the ignominious distinction of first place for refusing to air uncensored footage from Iraq at the apex of the allied air attack. The Brady Bunch Robert Reed, America's neat­ est dad in the seventies as Mike Brady and faithful hubby to Florence Henderson's Carol, dies on May 12 in Pasadena at the age of 59. Reed's death is HIV-related, yet sadly, once again, instead of widening understanding of the epidemic, the news serves primarily as reams of tabloid fodder. ► Real People MTV premieres "The Real World," a pseudo-documen­ tary whose concept relies on capturing the "spontaneous" interaction of seven disparate twentysomethings living com­ munally. With the May 21 opening, the audience ques­ tions how watching seven attractive, peppy, shallow would-be-actors is even remotely interesting. If this is the Real World, the audienc groans collectively, give me some acid, quick.