Portland State Magazine Fall 2021

FALL 2021 // 33 I wanted to be a Marine because I wanted to do something that most men are afraid to do and prove that I could do it. Marines are honorable, they’re dependable, they’re loyal, they’re courageous. I wanted to be all of those things. And their uniform.They have the best uniform of all the branches, you gotta admit, if you see a Marine you’re like, ‘Damn, they look good.’ Serving as a queer person was fine at first. You know they can tell and they didn’t care. But then a female Marine outed me. I started getting threatening phone calls to my barracks. I was told ‘Don’t do things that might be seen as gay.’ Just my very existence is gay. I went for a run on the beach and I got attacked from behind by three guys who sexually assaulted me and left me there. I crawled back to my barracks and then spent a couple of weeks in the hospital. The higher ups were like, ‘We’re going to keep this in house so that we can make sure you’re taken care of.’ Nothing changed.They gave me a bottle of antidepressants. But the phone calls didn’t stop. I had to live across the street from where it happened. I eventually got deployed to Afghanistan and actually welcomed the distraction because it got me off the base. But at the same time, I didn’t know if any of the guys that were with me were the ones that attacked me. I left the military not sure if I was going to be proud of being a Marine anymore. When I got to PSU, I didn’t plan to go into the Veterans Resource Center, I didn’t plan on hanging out with veterans and I didn’t plan on talking to people about the fact that I was a veteran. But this big dude said, ‘You’re with your family’ and carried me to the VRC. (I was like ‘Put down the lesbian!’) He told me he suffered from military sexual trauma.The fact that he shared that with me, so openly, it just instantly started my healing in a way that no counselor could. My service dog, Daily, named because she saves my life on the daily, also helped improve my life. Before her, I slept on the couch with a knife under my pillow. Because of the healing I felt from the veterans at school, I started wanting to help other veterans. Before I knew it, I’m in the School of Social Work and doing an internship as a veteran caseworker in Senator Wyden’s office. I continue that work to this day.The school gave me back my identity that I thought had been taken from me and that I thought I would never want back. I am a Marine. If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 or the Military Crisis Hotline at 800-273-8255. U.S. MARINE CORPS 2000-2005 IndiaWynne Recent graduate India Wynne MSW ’21 with service dog Daily. Wynne serves as Fellow Veteran Case Worker in the office of U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden.