PSU Magazine Winter 2001

hand-cranked ditto machines before photocopiers and computers came along to make it even easier. They're in some ways the outgrowth of Christ– mas cards, a British export dating from the late Victorian era. But whether the writer is Christian, Jewish, or born-again pagan, whether he celebrates Kwanza, Hanukkah, or the Winter Solstice, Pousen stresses that holiday letters are a uniquely American institution. We have a long tradition of being separated from our families, and, according to Poulsen, an important purpose of the holiday letter is to renew our ties to extended family. ver the past five years Poulsen and her research colleague, George Ray at Cleveland State University, have analyzed and archived hundreds of holiday letters. By examining communication and language these experts explore how the family sees itself-and how it's holding together. "It becomes a significant expression of family identity," Paulsen says. "The fir t thing to convey is that the family is intact and functioning, which is important in light of the present divorce rate." But that's also what can make them so annoying. The typical family letter is often coming to terms in some way with a 1950's model of family success, Poulsen says. The more like Beaver Cleaver's your family appears, the more reassur– ing, and the more irritating. "We're ambivalent about both the content and the form," she says. "Operating with a kind of idealized model of the family from the fifties is interesting if you're a single mother," observes Poulsen. "When writing fam– ily letters, people sometimes feel the need to account for the fact that theirs is a single parent family. Sometimes they don't. "It's unfortunate, because this shows that models change slowly," she says. As far as the concept of photo– copied personalization, "I think we're offended on some level; someone 'should' be sitting down and writing something more personal," Poulsen says. "At the same time, everyone appreciates the fact that no one has the time to write 73 personal letters. "That's why the ambivalence; we don't have the time, but we miss the personal touch," she says. "So people gritch about them, make fun of them, but those same folks really notice if someone doesn't stay in touch-send a letter, and further, they may be send– ing out their own letter as well." In writing the holiday letter, the details vary but there's a definite pat– tern. "This is supposed to be a cheerful time of the year, and yet we know that's not always the case," notes Poulsen. "However, holiday letters generally are in keeping with the spirit of the season. This even affects how we convey bad news, which is often buried towards the bottom in tones as upbeat as possible, if at all. Those writ– ers whose letters are 'too gloomy' are sometimes viewed has having violated this unspoken rule," she says. Obscure rule number two: The body of the letter generally discusses each member of the family in turn– even the pets. "Now, this certainly wouldn't be common practice in some other cultures," Poulsen says. Lastly, letters usually end with a prayer, or blessing, or some type of good wishes bestowed on the recipient. he Internet has revolutionized the medium. Commercial Web sites offer generic letters they will personalize and mail off for you; others take your hand-written letter and lay it out with photographs and art along the edges. A few Web sites specialize in humor and sarcasm. An alternative health and lifestyle Web site, Thirdage.com, lists the top family let– ter-writing no-nos on its "Family Let– ters from Hell" link: "Did we mention that Sis won the Pillsbury Bake Off, New York State Lottery and Miss America contest-and landed a highly-paid job as a super– model? That was in addition to the release of her novel-first try, we might add." Elsewhere on that same page, readers respond with their own comments. One posts: "Reminds me of some I have received in the past. Funny but sad." Most amusing by far is a Web site dedicated to the fictional Smithee family (http://smithee.com) with satiri– cal holiday letters backdated to 1993. That year's missive begins: "Hi everyone! Happy Chanukah! Merry Christmas! "Hope things are going well for all of you! It's been a busy year for us. We spent three months in Romania; cre– ated a viable, non-polluting substitute for gasoline; went to the dentist; par– ticipated in the running of the bulls; and washed our car." The Web holds a number of real family letters, too. One clan publishes a truly charming one-page newsletter on their, what else, family Web site (www.fliegler.com ). Even just the com– puter-assisted freedom to drop in each recipient's name on 40 sheets with a few keystrokes might explain why more letters are sent today than ever before. evertheless, Poulsen finds most people do it the old-fashioned way. "These things are actually labors of love," she contends. "They're not just pumping them out, but care– fully considering what they want to say about their family." I fan the rubber stamps around a four-inch stack of envelopes; still haven't found any that look like a light bulb or a big-haired woman pointing at her head. I remove the top two inches of the envelope stack– otherwise there are just too many– and set to with what remains. It looks like a chore but there's no reason to be dull about it. My own tribe is so wild by comparison to the rest of the family they'd believe anything about us. I'd hate to disappoint. "Hi everyone! Happy Chanukah! Merry Christmas ... We spent three months in Romania ..." D WINTER 2001 PSU MAGAZINE 17