PSU Magazine Spring 2003

Book reveals problems of the rich Money can't buy happiness– that's what most people say. It's the socially correct point of view. In pri– vate, however, they might admit the opposite, the view reinforced by adver– tising for everything from laptop com– puters to romantic vacations. Money is neither good nor bad of itself, says Thayer Willis MSW '90, psychotherapist and author of the new book Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth: A Life Guide for Inheritors . It's all the meaning ascribed to money and wealth in our culture that creates prob– lems for people and has provided a career focus for Willis: helping the wealthy make peace with their abun– dance and live fulfilling lives. What's to make peace with, what's in the way of fulfillment, many might wonder. Describing the dark side of wealth, Willis explains, "There can be a sense of entitlement, of greed, of thinking rules are made for others, as we've seen with some Enron executives and professional athletes. And some– times there is a feeling of isolation and separateness." Growing up in one of Portland's wealthiest families-her father was a founding partner of the company that became Georgia-Pacific Corp.-Willis, now 54, became familiar with even darker sides of wealth. By the time she reached her mid-thirties, there were five suicides among her childhood peer group . She had also struggled with an eating disorder and married three times in six years. Her own therapy led her to counseling others with eating disorders and then to the Portland State master of social work program, where she envisioned the career she now has. Everyone needs to work, whether or not they need money, whether or not the work is paid or unpaid , Willis advises in her book. The pur– pose is to develop maturity, feel pro– ductive, and make a commitment. 'Tm a big believer in competence and resilience and work is a tremen– dous vehicle for that. " The greatest challenge of wealth is spiritual, according to Willis. Although her Christian beliefs are evident throughout the book, she says that almost any spiritual path can be of value in dealing with the concerns people bring to her, such as "Why me7" and, "Am I supposed to use my talents to help others?" Stories about clients (with names and details changed) and Willis' observations in working with them appear throughout the book. Topics covered include marriage, raising children, financial education, philanthropy, estate planning, and loaning money to friends . The book is likely to be of interest not only to inheritors, but also to therapists, estate planners, and people she describes as "disaffected doers and achiev– ers" questioning the quality of their life. Willis, who lives in Lake Oswego, was so sure of her message that she published Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth herself (New Concord Press, Portland) in a hand– some hardback edition. -Martha Wagner Case study of an inheritor Sam, 40, was a would-be journalist with the talent, education and desire to excel at his chosen profession-but he lacked the drive to carry it off. The crux of his problem was the family fortune he inherited at age 21. Sam wanted to feel like a traditional breadwinner in the eyes of family and friends while meeting his "lifelong aspiration to become a successful, admired, highly paid writer." Yet he had no tolerance for writing anything less than the best his training had equipped him for. Without the need to be a breadwinner, he worked part-time, was very particular about the writing he would do, and took a lot of vacation and sabbatical time. In therapy, he became aware of how his work pattern left him feeling different from others and "essentially on the sidelines of his profession." His struggle with an attitude of entitlement, says Willis, is a common legacy of inheritors. In therapy he gained awareness of his attitudes and behaviors and was able to make peace with his priorities. SPRING 2003 PSU MAGAZINE 7