Going In With The Guerrillas By Robert Ellis Gordon Linocut by Jack McLarty If youare, by any chance, considering the possibility of going, as a guest of the guerrillas, into rebel-held territory in El Salvador, and you speak to others w>.o have been there, this is what you will hear: get used to walking thirty or forty miles at a stretch. Quit smoking. Don't quit smoking because cigarettes ward off hunger and are easier to come by. in Morazdn, than food. Read everything availiable on the causes of and cures for amoebic dysentery. Don't bother because there's no way to avoid it. Don't drink the water and above all avoid dehydration. Take a gun. Don't. Bring along massive doses of vitamins C and B- Stress. Forget the vitamins since gon'll give them all away the day you arrive. Don't worry about making friends: everyone wants to talk to American writers. Just because some of the guerrillas will hate you viciously, physically, doesn't mean you should take it personally. Go in with the RN or the ERP but not the EPL (as they're likely to slit your throat). Get your initials straight. Don't bring a sleeping bag. a tent, or anything green to wear because such items suggest that you are planning to do what you are planning to do which might cause the government soldiers might kill you. Remember: the mountains are cold during the winter. Remember: the mountains are cold during the summer. If you hear a helicopter, hit the dirt. When you return from the mountains wear a short-sleeved shirt because soldiers always check to see if elbows are scratched as a result of repeatedly hitting the dirt. If you're picked up by the soldiers hand out cigars and invite the boys for a cup of coffee. Keep your passport and credentials on a chain around your neck. Never remove the chain. If you're picked up by the'soldiers ask to see their commanding officer and tell him whatever he wants to know. Get immunized. Get your teeth fixed. Get a haircut. Obtain survival lips from former Green Berets but not from ooga-booga hippie types. (Real guerrillas don't eat snakes.) If you're picked up by the soldiers imply, through artful hints and nods, that you work for the C.LA. When you return from the mountains go directly to the airport and stay there. If the soldiers try to drag you off a plane, cause a ruckus so as to attract the attention of nearby reporters (if any). Memorize a certain California telephone number: it may come in handy if you're in a fam. Remember: no matter how prepared you are you'll never be prepared. If, for some reason, you're hung up in San Salvador or Tegucigalpa, wear a Rolex watch and act like a rich American who's there to fuck around. Go for no more than a week. Go for no more than a month. Go for three months. Go for a year. Don't go. Go because if you don't, you'll regret it. (Besides it will look great on your resume.) Think about this: the first time you go in, you'll get five or ten people killed. The next time you'll get three or four. Maybe the third time you'll know what you are doing, but you'll never know why you're doing it. Think about this: you're not so important: one person can't save the world. Don't go because of gut wounds, ball wounds and terror. Go to embrace the terror. Go during the rainy season because most of the fighting takes place during the dry season. Go during the dry season so as to avoid the rains. Go because when Katherine said she was really thinking of you, she was actually thinking of somebody else. Go to prove a fewpoints. If youenter the heart of evil you'll transcend it. If you enter the evil you'll become it. Go to internalize the pain which, at present, is external because you're not there. Go to touch the war. Go to touch yourself. Go because if you believe in the power of words to persuade, you have no choice but to view yourself as a bloodhungry thrillseeker. Go because you're a bloodhungry thrillseeker. Figure on a one in twenty chance of getting killed. Don't figure on getting killed, because if you do. you will. You'll find that combat is addictive. You'll find that 90 percent of your lime is spent waiting around. You'll know the meaning of terror within your first month/week/day. Don't bring any books, and if you must, take an airport novel or The Bible. If you study Spanish in Cuernavaca keep your politics to yourself because the place is loaded with spooks. If you go through Tegucigalpa keep your politics to yourself because the place is loaded with spooks. Also soldiers of fortune and other assorted loonies and freaks, including every would-be John Wayne who ever dreamed of getting laid in a war. (You aren't by any chance one of them?) Get used to eating tortillas and beans. Get used to eating nothing. Bring anti-fungal foot powder and don't fall in love. Trust someone, suspect everyone and pray that your unit doesn't skirmish with the Salvadoran Army's Atlacatl Bridage, because when the Atlacatl goes bananas, everything in its path dies. Robert Ellis Gordon is a writer with roots in Port Townsend who lives in Seattle. Jack McLarty is an artist whose home is Portland. LAW FIRM OF SANDERS. DIXON, NICHOLLS, SIEGEL & FRIEDMAN Don't Fight the System Alone Major or minor personal injury claims evaluated by our trial attorneys. Have the advantage of a skilled counselor to assist you in obtaining the fair settlement you deserve. No charge for initial consultation. Attorneys' fees based on a percentage of recovery. 1020 S.W. TAYLOR STREET • SUITE 430 PORTLAND, OR 97205 • (503) 242-1440 GENERAL LEDGERACCOUNTING Our Computerized Service Responds to YOUR NEEDS. • Tailor-Made Financial Statements • Proven System Used by CPA’s • Accounting and System Consultants • Do-It-Yourself Options We also offer the BEST in Mail Management Services. 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