remark to our group that we “didn’t really care what happened to each other as long as we got group approval for our next level increase.” There was more than an element of truth to this remark- patients did not want to rock the boat. Group would finish just as lunch arrived. If you were an upper level patient you went across the street to eat at the general hospital cafeteria. Here, along with the others, I caught up on the hospital gossip—who was getting released, who was getting busted down a level. The fresh faces were welcome and I felt more connected to the world at large. Maintaining that connection was difficult. As time went on, my world shrank. Initially, I read the daily newspapers and watched the evening news in an attempt to keep abreast of world events. Later, I was content to settle for the Sunday New York Times to which I had a subscription. As time passed, I distanced myself from the other patients on the ward. I tired of the cascade of problems that issued forth with every attempt at communication. A general malaise set in, and I became ultimately disinterested in the fates of the other mental patients, feeling I could hardly put my own head together, much less someone else’s. In the afternoon, if the weather was sympathetic, and if there was enough staff, we would “yard out,” a ritual enjoyed by nearly everyone, especially those without privileges. Usually another ward in the building joined us, and in all some 60 staff and patients would cram into a tight barbed-wire enclosure. Half the patients toted their own radios, each of which competed for air space and audience in the yard’s grass-covered field. I'd circulate amongst the patients from the other ward, here and there recognizing a familiar face from my stay on maximum security. Returning to the ward after roll call, we’d head to our rooms for “quiet hour,” a time for reading, chatting with roommates, exercise, sleep. ■ If nothing else, the hospital stay enlarged my literary horizons. For the first time I read serious poetry, meaningful psychology and history, upbeat modern fiction. Weekly I browsed through the portable hospital bookrack that came around for T.S. Eliot, Solzhenitsyn, Updike, Malamud. I was to grow increasingly reliant upon friends, relatives and staff for books of interest. In one frantic manic effort to break down the walls and reestablish relations with the outside, I ran up a four hundred dollar phone bill. Daily I wrote letters to friends, relatives and acquaintances. I became a mail order freak, sending out for books, magazines, clothes, in the desire for return mail. Mail, in.any form, was an event of significance in the hospital day. Quiet hour ended with the changing of the guard. These changes of staff were markers in my day. I relished even this limited contact with the outside world. That is the toughest part of institutional life—how to give the time meaning. During my ten-month stay, I sought to make the experience as relevant as possible ... it was difficult. For most, the mental hospital in Salem, Oregon is but a disguised prison, a place to serve your time and then leave. Like waiting in a station for a train that never arrives, there is little to do except endure the regimen and wait for release. Unlike the classic film The King of Hearts, the hospital is not a sanctuary of carnival-like activity. Few people want a return ticket. Evan Kaeser is a media producer living in Portland. Elsa Warnick is an. artist whose home is Portland. Folk Art & Accessories Affordable Cotton Clothing from Around the World La Paloma LATIN AMERICAN IMPORTS SW Portland 246-3417 Hillsdale Shopping Center next to Wilson High School For the best selection of foreign, cult, classic, and contemporary films on videotape. Tape and Equipment Rental and Sales Hillsdale Shopping Center— behind Poncho's 6345 S.W. Capitol Hwy • 246-2157 Rent one film — get one free! With this ad, good through July 21, 1985 12588 S.W. Gem • Beaverton. Or. • 646-11 18 Rainyday Flowers FLOWERS TO GO . . . WITH A DIFFERENCE • distinctive flower arrangements • fresh garden flowers • Hawaiian tropicals • wide variety of unusual flowering C foliage plants • delivery available • order by phone • flowers sent around the world NOW TWO LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU SEVEN DAYS A WEEK Loehmann's Plaza VISA 641-7229 MC Yamhill Marketplace 248-9524 AMEX The BOOK BARN FOR ChildREN QUALITY BOOKS FOR CHILDREN & THEIR FRIENDS RESTAURANT Informal Affordable Gourmet Dining Fresh Northwest Game & Seafood Extensive Wine List 6175 SW LOMBARD BEAVERTON 643-5252 LUNCH T-F 11 to 2 DINNER T-SAT 5:30 to 9:30 38 Clinton St. Quarterly
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy NTc4NTAz