TH E “A N O R E X IC CAFE " (anorexia will become chic in 2000) 4. GIMMICKS NEVER DIE. TH E SE E ING -E YE LEM M IN G " (will be a hot item in 2000 fo r blind people with low se lf esteem) $34.95 “TH E L IT T E R -B E -G O N E B L IN D C A N E " (a sharp nail protrudes from the end o f the cane which snares hits o f refuse as the sightless person taps along the street) $500.00 “B IC D IC K A N D G L A S S E S ” (a close relative o f Y A R M U L K E A N D G LA S SE S ) TH E “L O W SELF E S T E EM K IS S IN G B O O T H ” (another popular service fo r those with poor self images) 5. DEATH —MARKETING’S LAST FRONTIER. “C LO S E D -C A P T IO N T V FOR TH E D E A D ” (network television will be competing with cable for fringe members o f the viewing audience) "C H U C K SO N ’S B IG A N D D E AD " (a clothing store available to undertakers fo r dress needs o f F A T D E A D M EN ) “M R . SU IC ID E " (kit includes a .38 revolver and shells and a modified N a z i war helmet so you can safely release that suicidal aggression) “N A M E T A G S FO R TH E D E A D ” (a corpse will seem less distant and aloof with this invention fo r the year 2000) John Callahan was recently selected “Artist o f the Year”o f Portland’s art neighborhood, Northwest Portland, over such distinguished nominees as Obo Addy and W ill Vinton. Clinton St. Quarterly—Spring, 1987 41
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