THrE o f K E L t& lt fN , N lAEN T HEALTH I . CHURCH PITCHMEN ARE WORKING RELIGIOUSLY TO GRAB YOUR LAST DIME. ‘W I T H D R A W I N G F O R D O L L A R S ” (a T V game show in which contestants will be timed as they withdraw from addictive drugs) TH E A U N A T U R E L H A C K Y - S A C K K I T ” (kit includes no ball sack; suggests you use your own) TH E “R O L L A G A I N G AM E (a board and dice game in which every square instructs the player to roll the dice again) $17.99 TH E “E X P R E S S -L A N E C O N F E S S IO N A L ” (will soon be seen in all Catholic churches and cathedrals) “A N A L R O B E R T S (O R A L R O B E R T S twin brother; will become famous fo r beating himself with a bible) 2 . THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY PLUNGES TO NEW LOWS. TH E “L E P R O S Y J U G G L E R S ” (a diseased troupe who juggle their own hands) 10 144$ N O S E A N D Y A R M U L K E ’ (a close relative o f “N O S E A N D C L A S S E S ”) $60.99 N O T CUAB “F R A N K S N O T R A ” (a West Coast singer who blows his nose into the microphone) John Callahan's Predictions fo r the Year 2000 TH E “G R A T E F U L JE SU S D O L L " (when you wind him up, he repeats the letters “T .G .I.F .”) $12.00 “U R E T H R A F R A N K L IN ” (a soul singer who tinkles during tunes)
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