TIREDOFGET-RICH-QUICKSCHEMES? GROWMOLD COLTURES IN YOUR OWN HOME IN YOUR SPARE TIME! without major capital investment That’s right! A few years ago I was hard put to keep up with the rent and car payments. Today, huge mansions can be found in Bel Air, and brightly colored boats in the Bahamas. Betamax, Cuisin- art, cases of orange sherbet — they all exist! Actual objects, that’s right! You may be asking, “What’s this guy got that I don’t?” The answer? NOTHING. EXCEPT FOR ONE THING: KNOWLEDGE. And that’s what I am going to share with you right now. HARVEST OF GOLD Look around. Start with the living room sofa. Go ahead, pull up the cushions. What do you see? Popcorn? Buttons? Animal hair? A few broken parts off children’s toys? That’s probably not the half of it. Sure, you could gather all these things together and start a notions store in Lents ... but what’s the use? There’s more fertile ground elsewhere. Have you or a loved one ever had venereal disease? What did they treat it with ... Coca Cola? Hardly. Penicillin! That’s what they used! Two hundred years ago no one had ever heard of Madame Curie. Today, penicillin products are a major industry from Maine to Palm Springs. And where does penicillin come from? Mold! That’s right! Now you can grow common household mold in the privacy of your own kitchen or bedroom. That’s what I did for years without once realizing the goldmine that was around me. Look around again. If you’re like me, and millions are, there’s an old cup of coffee sitting down in that space between the bed and the wall, along with a couple of Parades, a red sock, and God knows what else. Pull that cup out of there! There’s something in it, right? Turn it upside down. Go ahead. Does anything spill out? No! That’s because it’s encrusted. Encrusted mold! And it’s alive and waiting for you to harvest it! WHAT’S THE GIMMICK? wait a minute,” you say. “ I thought you said I could start earning big bucks now without a major capital investment. Coffee costs over three dollars a pound. What’s the deal?” Sharp thinking. We’ve thought of that, and that’s why we’re offering to you, for a limited time only, our special introductory MOLD STARTERKIT only $1495 JUST UNWRAP ANDINSERT Kit includes: catalyst agent, osmotic action sac. fibre suspension member, two all- metal connectors, manual submersion tab, and special easy-fold cover component, complete with partial instructions. You supply the water and the Mel-mac, we do the rest. Why go to all of the trouble and expense of searching the newspapers, selecting and buying a used car (perhaps involving a trip to the bank or credit union), opening the door, inserting the key, closing the door, starting the car, and driving it to the store, only to wait in line for up to fifteen minutes simply to buy an overpriced pound of coffee? What about the trip home? The red lights? Freezing rain? The possibility o f running over a dog or some other small animal? UNAS PREGUNTAS By now you may have a few questions. Shoot. Q: Is Mel-mac the only dinnerware that I can use as a containment vessel? A: No. Any kind of hot ' drink cup will do, be it fine china or the handmade pottery that’s so very popular these days. Even styrofoam can be used, although it tends to leak after a while and get all over the phone bill. Q: So what do I do after I’ve combined the catalyst with hot boiled water? A: Nothing! That’s the beauty of it! Just stick the cup over by the remnants 1 of that burned macaroni casserole that’s been soaking for three weeks, sit back, and wait for the profits to roll in. It’s really as simple as that. No fuss, no bother. Q: Sounds like a breeze, but you haven’t said anything about marketing. Isn’t that a big part of running a successful business? A: Sure. But with the MOLD STARTER KIT, success is as near as your phone. Once you’ve set the kit working, check on it every few days, adding a little water i f necessary. Then, when your culture has reached maturity, just go to the phone book and look up the names of pharmaceutical houses, medical laboratories, and the like. Call them up. Describe to them in detail what you’ve got in the bottom o f your cup. In nine out of ten cases it’s as simple as that. If within the first week, a major pharmaceutical house hasn’t signed a long term supplier’s contract with you, go directly to the market you want to reach. Stop by the neighborhood pharmacy with your cup. Wear nice clothes. If the pharmacist is not interested the first time, come back every day several times and show him what’s in your cup. Call him up ' at home if necessary. Disguise your voice. Talk through an old rag. Record your voice on a taperecorder and play it back over the phone at a different speed. You can make good thunder effects by twisting a large piece of sheet metal. Rain is accomplished by dropping BBs in an old pie tin! Don’t stop there. ALRIGHT, YOU’VE CONVINCEDME. I WANT TOSTARTAMOLD CULTURE BUSINESS IN MYOWNHOMEAND BEGINCHANGINGMY FUTURENOW. SPECIAL OFFER SAY GOODBYETO SARTORIAL FURY If you act now, we’ll send you, absolutely free, this remarkable HIGHFASHION BOWTIE Available in two-tone blue, brown or squid STAYS INPLAGE EVENWHILEYOU SLEEP ORSHOWER It’s true. There's no need to continually relive the embarrassment of having your bow tie come off while making love or grooming the pups. Our patented serrated neck inserts are made from high impact steel (the kind they use to make baby strollers) so they won’t work loose. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Please send me my MOLD STARTER KIT and HIGH FASHION BOW TIE. I enclose $14.95 plus $1.00 to cover the cost of shipping. Name _ Height Address Weight □ Check here if you want $1.00 to go to the Presidential Election Fund □ Why? What do you mean? THE FUTURE IS NOW ENTERPRISES Baltimore, Maryland 4 Ad by Jim Blashfield
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