CLINTON ST. QUARTERLY Walt: Tim: Walt: Tim: Walt: Tim: Walt: Tim: Walt: She’s gay too?! The whole damn family is? My brother and my sister — yeah. She’s been living with Jamie, by now, for at least six years. And Mom is beginning to wonder. She’s beginning to really think about it! Shortly thereafter my brother Steve came out. Last summer — and then I came out in the fall with him. Not incestuously, I hope! Oh, man! It was definitely believed so by the Tacomites! It sounds like Termites. Were you two together a lot? It’s a wonder he didn’t get murdered or something! We went skiing together, to movies — Steve’s lover is a real fuddy duddy! He’s a homebody. He likes to read the paper. Oh, yeah. There were so many stories going around. But then — they have to have the stories to make their lives interesting, I think. Straight people? I agree! Bored p eop le , unsexual people. The more they talk, the more I can ignore them. It was ridiculous! I just looked at — I know the truth. Nobody else really needs to know it. In a way, you’re really not that normal. You’re one of those individual types who stands out, on his own two feet. Walt: Tim: Walt: Tim: Being a Parent of a Gay Walt: Tim: Walt: Tim: All this is going on — what does your family think? First of all, they reacted to my brother. They figured that Steve was having his fling and would soon grow tired of it. Which may be the case. He and his lover are breaking up. Steve may just enjoy being miserable. Because I was living with him, I went through an awful lot of head trips. Stereotypes that he had had — about gay people, what they should do, and things. When did you talk with your father or your mother? We never talked about this subject. When I did confront Walt: my mother about it — “ Does it upset you that I am gay?” she said, “ Probably. But let’s not discuss i t .” Parents of Gays [a real o rgan iza tion ] helped me realize that parents don’t like to think of their children as sexual persons! True. That’s in general. But it’s worse if you’re gay, because a parent is probably heterosexual. Most parents are! They feel alarmed that you may not have a family, later on. Did we tell that story? How — when the family went hunting, she gut-shot the deer [and cleaned it] and all that stuff? She was the one who went out and shot the buck! Dad would try. She gave him — his pride. Which is very basic and needed by everyone. I hate to use this metaphor, but — in a sense, she wore the pants in the family? Didn’t she? She wore the muumuu in the home! . . . I have two fathers. Charlie is my real dad. I never knew him till I was about 12 years old. He walks up on the porch — well, first he drives by in a clunker. And I look out on the cool summer morning — and he drives by in this car without a muffler, and the grinding of gears. I look out — and see this prune-faced old man! He’s peering in the doorway at me — and I feel really strange, like ooohh — creepy crawly. Jim was my second father. He came into the picture shortly after Charlie exited — when I was 3 or 4. It’s just — I never really totally accepted him. Sometimes I wish my mother had never told me that Jim was not my real father. As the years go by — I can see my father as Jim rather than Charlie — because Jim’s the one who took care of me, and Jim’s the one who stood by, and held me up. Your mother didn’t treak out when she found out you were gay? Tim: Walt: Tim: Oh yeah! We snuggle an awful lot! Even into high school, before school, I’d come in and snuggle up to Mom and we’d have a talk in the morning. It was fine. It was great — that warmness — being close to Mom. You said Mom came up to the newspaper office and wanted to look at the heavy sexual gay magazines? laughs) She saw them — and terribly embarrassed! Mother, let me cover (Tim I was “ Oh, these up!” And she says, “Oh, can I buy one of those calendars?” Dave says, “ Oh, you don’t have to buy one.” He gave her one. So she got a Blueboy 1980 Calendar! Walt: Tim: Are you looking for a father, by being gay? In liking older males? No. I don’t like the roleplaying. Who has to be the “ sissy,” and who has to be the “ butch” — I don’t go for that. I go for being yourself — being imaginative, being into the world. I like people who are themselves, people who can deal with themselves. The reason I’m gay is because I’m looking for love. 1 may not be gay forever. I’m giving either side a chance. 1 haven’t had much of a chance with women, but if I can find love — no matter where I find it — if I can find it, that’s precious enough to hold onto whether it’s with a man or a pOMETm'IZZB WHOLE WHEAT OR WHITE CREST COMPLETE DELI IMPORTED & DOMESTIC BEER &WINE SUB SANDWICHES & SALADS CALL AHEAD YOUR ORDER WILL BE READY WHEN YOU ARRIVE HOURS TUES-WED-THURS-SUN 4 PM - 10 PM FRI & SAT 5 PM - 12 MIDN IGHT TO GO CLOSED MONDAY 232-2812 2239 SEHAWTHORNE BV. LIFE LIKE IN EVERY WAY' Walt: She took it home with her! Ha, ha. (Blueboy, Mandate, In Touch, Playguy, and other gay mags are distributed by The Fountain. Some are standard porn. Others like Christopher Street, Gay Sunshine, Body Politic, and The Advocate are highly literate and intelligent reading material.) Tim: My dad — Jim — on the other hand — found it. He threw it out! Walt: woman. Do you think we might go through phases as people? That’s what we ought to be allowed to do? We ought to be allowed to be who we are, and to explore that. Yes, I agree with that. Just play it by ear. Blown Thesis Is a n y b o d y rea l ly “ normal” ? I’d hate to be normal! I would really hate to be normal. So would I! I mean, the normal person with the medium-brown hair — just basic features and no personality — why is it so great to be normal? Why shouldn’t people be off-the- wall? [Tim uses both hands to squeeze his entire head.] Like John Belushi popping a zit? Have you seen the picture Animal House) No, I haven’t. Thanks, Tim! Walt Curtis (Tim would like to invite any younger gays who are interested, to the meetings. For further info, call him at The NW Fountain, 248-1990.) 17
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