JEVgLOprAOJTS IN PVRW> of KCLl<fN, £ IOT&HXAi NMEN T HEALTH John Callahan's Predictions fo r the Year 2000 32 i. CHURCH PITCHMEN ARE WORKING RELIGIOUSLY TO GRAB YOUR LAST DIME. “NOSE AND YARMULKE” (a close relative of “NOSE AND GLASSES”) $60.99 (will soon be seen in all Catholic churches and cathedrals) THE “GRATEFUL JESUS DOLL” (when you wind him up, he repeats the letters “T.G.I.F.”) ■ $12.00 2. THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY PLUNGES TO NEW LOWS. “ANAL ROBERTS” (ORAL ROBERTS twin brother; will becomefamous for beating himself with a bible) CLVAB “FRANK SNOTRA (a IVest Coast singer who blows his nose into the microphone) THE “LEPROSYJUGGLERS’ (a diseased troupe who juggle their own hands) “URETHRA FRANKLIN” (a soul singer who tinkles during tunes) THE “ROLL AGAIN GAME” (a board and dice game in which every square instructs the player to roll the dice again) $17.99 “WITHDRAWING FOR DOLLARS” (a TV game show in which contestants will be timed as they withdraw from addictive drugs) THE “AU NATUREL HACKY-SACK KIT” (kit includes no ball sack; suggests you use your own) Clinton St. Quarterly— Spring, 1987
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