able to feel ... cry if you want to cry and let out your emotions. But to just do the “I can’t” routine just stops everything. You’ve got choices all the way through. You say hospital to some women and they open up real quick. They really don’t want to go there. If they are setting up psychological barriers we take a break to regain objectivity and strength away from the immediate situation. That way we can come back with renewed strength to complete the birthing process. We utilize common sense to dictate the proper steps. Sometimes they’ll take a hot shower, drink some tea, rest and regain their fortitude. We ask her to visualize her baby opening up her cervix and coming through. Everyone is so different. Every situation is different. Each requires peculiar handling to that situation. Each man is different in how they relate to that woman. That really is a big part of it. Some women want to get pity because they’ve been ignored throughout their pregnancy, or they’ll want to be real strong to show them, “Hey, I can do this.” We’ve seen both extremes to that end and the middle of all that. Women’s ability to endure and persevere in childbirth comes out of an incredible well of love and strength. That’s its spirituality. Women’s strength in childbirthing is something men can support and encourage, but they never really grasp the power of unconditional love necessary to give birth to part of your own body. CSQ; Doesn't the bonding between yourself and the mother-to-be sometimes go way beyond the process? Midwife: Yes, for example there was this couple from Georgia. Very much in love and looking forward to the baby. His love was her strength, and he committed suicide a day before the birth. She went into labor within 24 hours and it lasted two days. There were seven women in attendance including two women in their late sixties. She wouldn’t go to the hospital. She said, “I’m not going to go in. I’m a wreck. I’m staying right here and I’m going to do it.” The problem with her was that many of her contractions quit being effective after a while. She was nine centimeters, and they completely stopped for a number of hours. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. It would start and stop; start and stop. Get a little further and stop. A day into the labor I said, “Hey Mary, it can't get any worse; you've got to have this baby. You’re so close. The baby sounds fine; let’s try and take a little rest here. It’s going to get better.” And she said, “My whole life has been this way. As soon as I think it’s going to get better, it gets worse. It gets worse and worse.” Twenty minutes later we looked up and there were police at every window. They came to the door saying we’re here to get Greg, Mary’s 3-year-old son by another marriage. As we understood it, she had custody of Greg, but her ex-husband at one point had kidnapped Greg for eight months till Mary paid $10,000 to track him down. The court awarded her custody with his having visitation rights. She also couldn’t leave the state with the child. Mary fell in love with this man, she got pregnant and they moved to the Northwest. We told the police that we had a right to an attorney, locked the door, drew the drapes and parlayed. Mary pleaded with us not to let them take her child. We couldn’t reach any attorneys. We told the police that the woman who owned the house was gone, so we wouldn’t give them permission to come into her place. In the time we had bought for ourselves, we stashed the kid and home owner into a little hole in the attic. Greg was real quiet, for he didn't want to go. We had the local police officer come in and talk to the mother. Mary told him, “Can’t you see I’m in labor? You can arrest me. You can take me away.... Go ahead, take me to jail. My kid’s not here. I shipped him out after Peter died. He just killed himself.” The cop did a token search of the house. He was shy and intimidated. They were all men, and we were all women. We just used our women’s prowess. I said, “This woman is in labor, and I’m her midwife, and I’m real offended that you should come in The local police officer came in and Mary told him, “Can’t you see I m in labor? You can arrest me. You can take me away. ... Go ahead, take me to jail.’’ at this time. This woman has lost her husband in the last 24 hours and you’re disturbing her at a most sacred moment.” The baby was finally born due to the incredible reservoir of support that flowed from the seven women. It cried for two hours after birth. The baby was so emotionally distraught from feeling all the sorrow in the womb that it took him a long time to be comforted. In the meantime, the police were still watching the house. We had some of the women put this big Christmas box into their car and drive away. Of course the police followed, thinking, “Oh, they have the child in the box.” We gave them a few minutes, put him under someone’s poncho, dressed him with brown socks so his feet wouldn’t show, and had him walk on the midwife’s feet real slow out to the car. We slid him on the floor and slowly drove away, all the while saying, “Oh, God, please don’t pick us up. Soon after, Greg was reunited with his mother. CSQ: What happens when a woman has to go to the hospital sometime during the labor? There’s this bond and suddenly you’re in the stark white room. . . . Midwife: It pretty much varies each time, depending on where you go and who your doctor is. The last few times the midwife has gotten to go into the delivery room and it hasn’t been a problem, although that is not always the case. Your main objective is a successful birth. We keep accurate records to be as much help as possible. There was a birth of twins where one placenta came and the other didn’t. The woman was losing blood. We waited with it and tried to work it through. Finally we got to the point where we felt there was a need to get some I.V. started on her. That’s one thing we don’t carry. So we called an ambulance and, along with the mother, told them the hospital of our choice. “She’s okay,” we told them. “She just needs some blood and to get this placenta out.” The babies were doing fine. We had the babies all bundled up. The ambulance drivers, not fully understanding, went to the closest hospital. At the emergency door the nurses greeted us and said, “Who is this woman’s doctor? She can’t come in here since she doesn’t have a doctor.” The drivers insisted that they take her until the woman was stable. The nurses were running around saying, “Oh, what will we do? We have to call a doctor.” A good 45 minutes passed from the time we brought her in to when they finally hooked her up to the I.V. Finally a doctor straps her down, tells her to shut up, that from this point on, she has nothing to say. He tore that placenta out of her. He was a brutal man. He told me I was a criminal who belonged in jail. That I was risking this woman’s life. I kept answering with, “This woman made this decision. She checked it out Tinctoria 4318 Stone Way North Seattle 632-5818 It took 2000 years to improve this bed. it’ll take just one night to improve your sleep. Futon. Six-inch thick Japanese beds, all cotton or with two- inch foam cores. Sound sleep at sound prices. 516 15th Ave. East, Seattle Capitol Hill 323-0936 Hours: Mon-Fri 11-6/Thurs ll-7/Sat 11-5 M () R T M MM E S T FUTON ( () M P A MY A Fabulous New Clinton St. Quarterly 33
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