Clinton St. Quarterly, Vol. 7 No. 3 | Fall 1985 (Portland)

DINNER D ATRIANGLE SELF HELP ALBUMA SIS/ to leave the bedroom or shower SINCERELY If ♦37 ZORIES, THONGS, OR FLIP FLOPS? M FRRORS. Which is it anyway? Learn where REMARKABLY FRE ^ f1'0 and when each term is appropriate! AS A SERVICE TO HUMANITY TRIANGLE POST ANNOUNCES ITS SELF HELP SERIES, THE "SELF HELP ALBUM". THESE ARE NOT JUST MERELY OUT OF DATE INSTRUCTIONAL PAMPHLETS, BUT ACTUAL SHEETS OF STAMPS WHICH SERVE AS SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDES AS WELL AS CONTEMPORARY ART. NEVER BEFORE HAVE SO MANY HELPFUL IDEAS BEEN TIED TO AN ART SERIES OF SUCH SCOPE! EDUCATORS, DOCTORS, PHILOSOPHERS, AND HANDYPERSONS ALIKE HAVE PROCLAIMED THIS ALBUM A NEW TRADITION IN EDUCATIONAL EXCELLENCE. Problems \Jriangie \ Sell k \HelP ♦409 Your Fortune in Stamps Here's our most popular sheet. C.T. Chew shows you how to make millions of stanps right in the comfort of your own home. A proven stamp maker! ♦443 The Truth about Wet Dreams Why is a wet dream like a sack of potatoes? Do wet dreams mark us for martyrdem? Do they have wet dreans in Russia? Answers to these and 32 more intreresting questions about wet dreams. 4443 What is a weed ? NAME CITY STATE ZIP I'M 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER (Required by state law) your signature and date Leg Cramps and Pasta! the middle of the night and you've got one of those leg cranps that could cripple a horse! Did you ever stop to think it might be caused by that linguini you had for lunch? ♦877 It's $979 The Facts of Life then we first introduced this informative set we thought we'd I♦784 Your Last Bad Dream IPut these stamps under your pillow. Their soothing action makes dreamland happylandl Not a drug! $774 Money Talks This big 40 stamp sheet shows you step by step how to get what you want with money. It's easier than you might think! imagined! 3 sheets for the price of one! ♦977 MONKEY BUSINESS Guest philatelist Jane Goodall takes you on a journey into a nightmare world of the Secret Simian Ehpire. Discover why you should never trust an organgrinder again, and why bananas are more precious than gold. THE STAMPS I CHECKED! I KNOW THEY SIX WEEKS! SEND TO: covered it all! But over the years our readers have let us in on a few more facts than we SURE, YOU BET, SIGN ME UP FOR WILL BE DELIVERED IN THREE TO ♦821 Is that Algae? Algae is a fact of life! Learn to recognize this most interesting plant. Help Help the eat have Dice Who invented dice anyway? And why didn't they use normal nimbers instead of those dumb little dots? These smaijt stamps glue right over those hard to read dots and make your life a lot simpler! Enough for two dice + instructions. The Kids Are Hungry! thirty cannon items around house that your family can in a pinch. Now you don't to get that snack 1 342 Wholesome and Nutritious! TRI ♦345 Scat Detective Those innocent droppings can hold a wealth of information, but only if you possess the skills to crack their mysteriesl Key Chucks ke’ WITH THESE WONDERFUL WORKS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS THE WORLD WILL BEND TO YOUR WIMS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! WON'T YOU TAKE A FEW MINUTES AND SCAN OVER THE FOLLOWING CATALOG OF TITLES? WE'LL WAGER THERE ARE SEVERAL THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE! DESIRED SHEET AND *REMEMBER THOUGH. JUST CHECK OFF THE BOXES TO THE LEFT OF EACH ENCLOSE IN THE HANDY BUSINESS REPLY PROVIDED. STAMPS NOT ORDERED CAN'T BE DELIVERED. C. T. CHEW PH.D PRESIDENT TRIANGLE SELF HELP ALBUM ♦342 The Kids Are Hungry! Vol.2 Thirty more hard to find edibles. This time we concentrate on the garage and garden shed. Includes items you'd never think to try! □♦42 Right Hand, Left Hand Remember just how frustrating that part of the I.Q. Test was? Here's help! Your elementary school-aged kids will become overnight wizzes on the subject. Helps you brush up too! □♦88 Speak in Tongues! A college level course on one sheet of stamps! You'll be doin' it after the first lesson, and an expert by the fifth! A must in todays cutthroat business world! □♦97 See a Penny, Pick it Op... This and 35 other lucky sayings and tips. Includes, "Have a nice day!", and many other worn out hard to remember favorites. □♦151 ZYGOTE! (say Zf Goat) If God hadn't intended these little guys to be on stamps she wouldn't have made them so cute! □♦177 Over Eating, Why a Lobotomy Isn't the Answer. Twenty lobotanics show you the answer is just not that simple. 24 Clinton St. Quarterly ♦186 Paranoial 11 Just place these stamps around your room. They,watch your friends, they tell them what to do. they're so small, only you know they are there. □ ♦190 Dementia Ehilantelus Ever had that feeling that you're covered with creeping stamps? Could be hidden stamps are controlling your very existance! But you can find them and get rid of their influence. This sheet a must! □♦239 Tubal ligation. Yes, you have all the necessary equipment to do the job right in your utensil drawer. Could be your key to happiness and sexual freedom! ♦243 Home Vasecotomy. Easier than peeling a Cucumber! Dr. chew takes you step by step through this delicate operation, all you need is a breadboard! ESS ♦345 The Kids Are Hungry! DON'TS There's always saneone taking adventuresome and stupid chances eating something that looks good but may very well be downright poisonous. Here's the don'ts to look out for. We know a lot of cooks have this spice in their cupboards, but what the heck is it really good for? These 25 stamps put the paprika back into your life! » Hungry Ants will eat many times their o^/n body weight in lies! ♦376 So You've Got Lice? You're not alone on this one. □♦282 Bad Stamps We think you'll agree, these are some of the most atrocious stamps ever made! Or your money back! □♦296 Are You Colorblind? Now you can own this simple diagnostic sheet used in many of todays leading ophthama- logical hospitals. It takes only minutes a month to be sure. 296 Chances are they were passed to you by a "friend". Here's how to make those little fellas move along. Guaranteed! 282 □♦444 Let's Cheat You want to play Scrabble with your sisterin-law, but she always beats you so badly that you just don't feel like licking your wounds again. These stamps give you the tips you need to hand her the thrashing she deserves. How to cheat at Scrabble and 9 other popular board games. □♦533 Adam, and the Invention of 3rd. Class Mail. That bent ard broken package had it's origins back in the Garden of Eden! Don't be tempted by cheap postal rates again! Fwial Stages $554 □♦554 The Renoir Syndrom (1845-1876) Sure, you've seen them, sketching portraits at the market and mall with pastels? They are very sick individuals! Learn why. □♦599 Rapid Hair Loss Your grandpa was bald and your father was bald. Now you just can't wait. 20 ways to speed your too slowly receding hairline guaranteed better than ripping! □♦644 You're the Expert! How neny times has someone said this to you, when you didn't really knew anything on the subject at all? Sure, it's happened to all of us! These 30 stamps show you in detail how to be an expert! Never be embarrassed again. □♦645 STAMP OF APPROVAL! How many times have you done a really great job and not been recognized? Here's the answer. 25 stamps. □♦768 Are You Smart? These neat stamps glue right to your bathroan mirror. Go ahead, try to figure then out! If you can't, your donb! Clinton St. Quarterly 25

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