F? COMMUNITY > CENTER CONFERENCE RETREAT HOT SPRINGS HISTORY In the 1920's, a man used his ice cream cone fortune to build a hot springs resort on the site of a Native American seasonal village. Sixty hot mineral springs provided water for baths and drinking, for relaxing and “curing" a variety of ailments. BREITENBUSH For reservations contact BREITENBUSH COMMUNITY P.O. Box 578, Detroit, OR 97342 (503) 854-3501 (message: 854-3715) 2 Clinton St. Quarterly TODAY The Breitenbush Community has created a retreat and conference center by restoring the old resort. We invite you to visit alone, with your family or friends to bring a group for meetings; to attend one of our many workshops. $25/person/day includes: cabin accommodations old fashioned, cozy meals delightful, hearty vegetarian hot springs hot tubs, steam sauna, natural mineral pools $130 weekly rate. Special rates: weekdays, children, seniors
VOL. 6, NO. 3 FALL 1984 Staff Contents Co-Editors Peggy Lindquist David Milholland Jim Blashfield Lenny Dee Design and Production Jim Blashfield Production Assistant David Milholland Laura DiTrapani Camerawork Brian Foulkes Proofreaders Betty Smith Steve Cackley Ad Production Peggy Lindquist Stacey Fletcher Beverly Wong Kate McNulty Ad Sales — Portland Lenny Dee Anne Hughes Sandy Wallsmith Ad Sales — Eugene Laurie McClain Tim Jordan Neil Street Ad Sales — Corvallis/Albany David McCorkle Ad Sales — Seattle Christopher Mascis Barbara Nombalais Joe Racek Marketing Director Anne Hughes Contributing Artists Tim Braun, John Callahan, Dennis Cunningham, August Encolada, T. Michael Gardiner, Susan Gofstein, Fay Jones, Andrew Keating, Marly Stone, Steve Winkenwerder Typesetting Archetype Printing Tualatin-Yamhill Press Public Relations Cramer/Hulse Thanks Linda Ballantine, Stephanie Denyer, Denny Eichorn, Jeffrey Harmes, Melissa Marsland, Douglas Milholland, Danny O Brien, Charlotte Uris, Gary Wilke and at least 1,000 friends of the CSQ. l jo n a \d Reagan is a polarizer, eager f 1 to demarcate the boundaries between good and evil, .God-fearing and godless, the chosen and the targets of our nation’s wrath. Given his long history as the purveyor, after Barry Goldwater’s tumble, of the Right Wing view of history, little he has done in office should surprise us. What is instead shocking is the apathy and cynicism his presidency has breed in the national psyche, a resignation to his “inevitable victory” that has stilled the fires of dissent and has kept those ofTis who complain vigorously of his policies on the sidelines of this bellwether campaign. While it is true that the Mondale campaign has so far been lackluster, and that the ray of hope Geraldine Ferraro brings to the Democratic ticket has been fragmented twelve-fold, the reality of the 1984 presidential campaign is finally this. A referendum is being conducted on the Reagan world view, and a lopsided victory for his candidacy and shock troops will bias our future beyond our furthest reckonings. Cynicism is the especial bane of those of us bright enough to know the perfect world is not achieved via the political process. Whoever accedes to that unmanjO^ ' a o0'9 a. ■ ageable office will immediately require our attention and response. Walter Mondale cannot help but disappoint us as President ... his vision is unclear, his leadership qualities are suspect, he is intimately tied to the Johnson-Humphrey- Carter policies. He’s a liberal’s liberal, has too little charisma, is jowly. He’s a whistle-stop, not a 6-o'clock news candidate. He grunted his way past two dynamic primary contenders and is pushing the 12th hour to show his true stuff. Yet he not only deserves our vote but our active support to put him over the top. Mondale and Ferarro, for all their shortcomings, are world’s apart from their incumbent opponents. The Democratic agenda considers the poor and outsiders, has made a clear stand for nonintervention in Central America and in support of the Nuclear Freeze. Unless you have a lot of spare change to throw at the stockmarket, the Reagan list including Beirut, Grenada, Nicaragua, Aquino, Watt, Meese, the B-1, the Peacekeeper, hard times, no jobs, and anti-ERA will strike a chord inside you. This Republican administration is toying with our lives and fueling a “recovery” through exploitation of our land and future generations. A past master at using the media, all criticisms bounce off our Teflon President. He has shielded himself from the press, except for “photo opportunities,” and they, reading the polls, have already ceded him the second term. It all feeds into our sense of impotence and resignation. But Reagan's no cynic. He believes in the role he’s playing. For he’s a performer whose soul lies too deep to be tapped. We're the ones with the bit parts. And voting simply isn’t enough. With the Republican warchest swelled to overflowing with big business bucks, it will take both our contributions and time even to challenge Reagan. I'm writing a letter to everyone I know, sending photocopies, explaining how much I care to defeat Reagan. Asking them to consider switching their vote, if they’ve been lulled by him. Or working to defeat him, if their mind is already made up for Mondale-Ferraro. The temptation to stand aside and watch the wave sweep over us is great, but our fears for the future, on every front, should be greater. We can talk to Mondale, maybe run him out of office if he lets us down. But we listen to the great communicator. _Bs \ f e J ^ ^ 6 % T t'1 He only listens to God, Nancy and his backers’ pocketbooks. Vote. Write. Organize, Resist. Don’t surrender. DM WHY SUBSCRIBE TO A FREE CSQ ? I A / hen the first issue of the Clinton V r St. Quarterly hit the streets of Portland in April 1979, a peanut farmer was President and Ronald Reagan was still an ex-actor and ex-governor. The Shah was tottering, but looked secure. Portland and Seattle had just claimed back-to- back NBA championships. People still built houses, and inflation, not unemployment, was our biggest economic problem. That first issue claimed boldly that "Sex Cures Cancer,” struck out at sacred cows everywhere, and alternately bemused, puzzled and/or disgusted its readers, depending on their predilections. Few people, including its creators, gave it a year. Yet miraculously, perhaps even defiantly, we’re still alive and kicking. Over the years we've won innumerable awards for our writing and graphics, printed many articles you are poorer for having missed, and generally consolidated and upgraded our operation. We now create two separate editions, one for Washington (20,000 copies) and another of equivalent size for Oregon, with contributors from throughout the Northwest and beyond. Needless to say, our advertisers, some of whom have been with us from the very beginning, are the greatest support for this endeavor. Please support them. Subscriptions we’ve always offered FIND A BETTER DEAL, WELL BUY YOU A DREAM HOUSE IN PARADISE!! Your name Address Circle one: WA OR Feel free to copy this, or make out your own extended list on a separate page. Enclose $6 for first subscription and $5 for each additional subscription or year. We will send along a personalized note to all receiving your gift subscriptions. Please return to: CSQ, Box 3588, Portland, OR 97208. Cover Jim Blashfield Man Oh Man Leanne Grabel 4 Intelligently Altered States Mike Heffley & David Milholland 10 Fond Summer Memories Steve Winkenwerder 14 Small Persons Trilogy Amelia Dorth The Lighter Side of Being Paralyzed for Life John Callahan 20 Lifes of the Saints J.K. Studyvin 24 (Paint) The Wall 33 Letter From Inside Allen Leigh 35 My Father is a Fireman Sallie Tisdale 39 Pinski’s Women Rachel Herr 43 Urban Renewal T. Michael Gardiner 44 Nights of the Roundtable Lenny Dee 47 The Clinton St. Quarterly is published in both Oregon and Washington editions by Clinton St. Quarterly, Inc. Oregon address: Box 3588 Portland, OR 97208, (503) 222-6039. Washington address: 1520 Western Avenue, Seattle, WA 98101, (206) 682-2404. Unless otherwise noted, all contents copyright © Clinton St. Quarterly. casually, with tongue-in-cheek ads designed more for humorous effect than making you dig into your pocket. 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■MANC Drawing bg Susan Gofstein A r -A i O ■ Be a man — that is the first and last rule of the greatest success in life. Saturday Evening Post, 1905 You have many contacts Among the lumberjacks To get you facts When someone attacks Your imagination. Bob Dylan I don 1know exactlg how it happened, but someu 'here in between 7th andSthgrade. Hostmg know-how. Considering the timeframe. / assume it was a bad reaction to pubertg. And all thatpubertg implied. I didnot catch on to the adaptationprocess, and couldnot sail right into the next phase o f life: budding womanhood. I got C/inton St. Quarterly caughtflailing... in the rapids. The childhood phase was a cruise. I had two best friends, Mary and Billy, and the three of us knew how to have fun. Wg were the quickest runners, best hitters, most effective hiders, and earliest risers on the block. That Billy was a boy had absolutely nothing to do with anything that touched our triumphant world. Then puberty slid in. And SHOOBOP,
)HMAN there was a new game in town. Our sexuality and how we portrayed it became of vital importance. And being a fast runner, great hitter, or effective hider had absolutely nothing to do with Mary’s or my success in this game. In fact, it seemed to detract from our victory potential. It had me stumped. I didn’t get it at all. Sexuality had changed all the rules. By some quirk of fate, I was invited on a handful of elates during high school. But I was lousy at dating. The air was always so thick, yet blank. And first dates never became second dates. And I never really clicked into anybody. And nobody ever really clicked into me. / Think: Therefore!Am I I hen college marched in, I knew I had to formulate a more workable solution. In 1969, college demanded sexual I sidestroked through college and into the real world with a head confidently overstaffed with mod ideas, a multisyllabic mouth and a smart-looking face. Very few knew I was drowning. know-how. Modern concepts regarding revolutionary sexual relationships were flying through the air en masse. It seemed mandatory to at least appear on top of it all. Thank god concepts were so easy to learn. Because I was a brain, concepts were the easiest. So I sidestroked through college .. . and into the real world .. . with the same basic experiential ignorance, but with a head confidently overstuffed with mod ideas, a multi-syllabic mouth and a smartlooking face. Very few knew I was drowning. The concept I liked the most had to do with limits. And not having them. I featured myself an anarchistic explorer. I could become involved with anyone in any way I wanted. We could make up our own rules. Or have none at all. We could be free. Oh, viva la revolution! To make a long story short, this concept did not work. I had a jagged feeling in my mouth, an exhausted feeling in my brain, and a starving feeling in my heart. After By Leanne Grabel eleven or so years as an active participant in the sexual arena, there were some lovers I couldn’t even remember. And I didn’t even know the addresses of the three men with whom attempts were made at the Big Bond. There was something terribly off. I obviously didn’t know what I was doing, where I was going, or what was the point. The point is at the end of the pencil. James Rockney Attemptee #2 And then the reaper showed up. And the last failed relationship pushed me further off the edge than I should really have been going. And I wasn’t really ready for my exit. It was time for Concept Re-evaluation. Bear Wrestling: The Meat o f the Matter I met Hemingway and he was probably the most macho of all machos. The first question he asked me, really, the first thing he said to me was, 'Have you ever wrestled a bear?’ I said no. And I laughed. And later he told someone he thought I was a little shit. Art Buchwald /needed to learn about men. I had been walking around all those years believing men were no different than me. That like with Mary, Billy and me, we could all just run, jump and play .. . maybe bring in a dab of sexuality here ... a dab of lovetalk there ... but basically, everything would still be the same. Straightforward. Easy. And fun. I already know that I'm the girl. UH OH She’s the girl But at our essence Our souls have No boobs. UNFORTUNATELY, these moments of quintessence ... of elemental bonding and total communication . . . were just that: MOMENTS. Apparently, I was living in a dream world ... by myself. And I had to come down to earth, so I could live my life .... with men included. And it would feel like living. A few months ago, like a godsend, I met a 24-year-old, redheaded man, trenchcoated and hatted in brown. While (as he later admitted) letting me beat him in pool, he told me he had just been released from the Marine Corps. That he had done time in Grenada. The Marine was an anthropological find. He spoke in a new way, which was really an old way, which was really a new way. The Marine thought that manhood was the point. He was proud of his manhood, and he loved it. The Marine was the meat of the matter: man at his rawest. In junior high school Big Max was a problem. Wed be sitting during lunch hour Eating our peanut butter sandwiches And potato chips. . He was hairy of nostril And of eyebrows, his lips Glistened with spittle. He already wore size ten and a half Shoes. His shirts stretched across a Massive chest. His wrists looked like Two by fours. And he walked up Through the shadows behind the gym Where we sat, my friend Eli and I. "You guys," he stood there. "You guys Sit with your shoulders slumped! You walk around with your shoulders Slumped! How are you ever going to Make it?” We didn't answer. . . Big Max was ready for the World. It made us sick To look at him. Big Max Charles Bukowski No Polished Venom f \ therapist I know said that most of the males who go to therapy these days are in their 30s (as a m i)... and are those who were most touched by the concepts of the '60s (as was I). They go to therapy to rediscover their manhood. Because the modern propaganda of the ’60s taught them to seek out their womanhood. And to strap large cement boots to their manhood, forcing it off any pier. The Marine, however, is only 24. He is not of the ’60s generation. He was born in 1960 in a small, hardcore, blue-collar town in New Jersey. His father has only one leg, as eventually do all of the men in his family. It's congenital. And the Marine's ankle is hurting already. The Marine did not ride with the Superlative Seekers of the Sixties, even though I am sure he is looking for Freedom and Truth. He just happened to join the Marines. The Marine’s dreams have nothing to do with computers or corporate America. He just wants to build a house on some unspoiled plot of beauty in ethereal Maine, so he can get away from the fear in our citified scramblings. He knew he was warping in Jersey. He just happened to join the Marines. Coming from where I do — overbrained middle-class, Jewish America — I have never met a Marine before. And Jewish fathers, although they also want to rule the world, rarely choose warriorhood as their method. So the Marine is easy game for derision. Slyly, I could rant and rave about fascist foolery. And the stupidity of philosophies that focus on muscular flexion. I could tease the Marine. I could tease manhood. I could write with polished venom about how ugly raw aggression really is. Then there’s always guns, grenades, Grenada, the crew-cut- ted recruiters I talked to downtown. And OF COURSE Ronald Reaguns. But it is old. And it is boring. And it is not the point. I just want to understand this manhood business. I want to understand it so I can bring men down to earth. And stop sparring. Like the ’60s-inspired men of whom the therapist spoke — the men who drowned their manhood for the sake of modern theories — I have stripped my natural instincts to fuel my modern brain. But I want my natural instincts back. I went too far too soon. I cast off everything The Marine was an antiiropological fit id The Marine was the meat of the matter: man at his rawest. — before examination — and expected anarchy to mother my sexual growth. But like a neglected child, my sexuality turned into a juvenile delinquent: all over the place .. . and nowhere. So ... a blue-collar, brown-hatted man from New Jersey. . . who used to tear doors off at the hinges . . . who was vibrant and straightforward ... seemed the obvious place to begin my remodeling. The Marine was the historical research — the pure data. The Marine was the purest point on the spectrum. He had stripped off nothing. I mean, I was really a punk and an asshole when I went in. The Marine Corps made me a man. The Marine } 'a Gotta Sen e Somebody I am an American fighting man. I serve in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense. I will never surrender of my own free will. If I am captured, I will continue to resist by all Clinton St. Quarterly 5
means available. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy. If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will never forget that I am an American fighting man, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. Marine Corps Code of Conduct The Marine: I think every American kid should go into the Marines. You become a man. The Marine Corps ages you. See, I was juggling so many women and people at the same time. So one night I’m sitting in this bar and the bartender shut me off. And I’d only had a couple of Wild Turkeys. I was not drunk at the time. I put four quarters on the bar for a tip, but decided I wanted to play Space Invaders. So I took back a couple of quarters. So the guy shuts me off because he says I stole his quarters. I went crazy and hurt him and everything else. I was really violent. I mean, really violent. When I got mad, I ripped doors off hinges and stuff. Some psychiatrist told me that I was living with two personalities. He told me to make them one. And only use the animal for self-defense. Below is a list of items that you will not need and should not take to boot camp. Check yourself before you leave home and see to it that you don’t have any of these items packed: firearms or lethal weapons ammunition explosives fireworks or pyrotechnics blackjacks brass knuckles knives straight razors scissors ointments or laxatives any products in glass pressurized containers obscene or subversive literature Recruit Training Manual for Men The Marine: So then I tried to pull my car out of a snow bank. See, the place wouldn't pay my tickets, and I was screwing the owner's wife at the time. It was just like a soap opera. So I was sitting in a park smoking a joint and across the street I see a sign. It says, “We need a few good men." And as I say, I was really a punk at the time. And I walked over there and the door was locked. And it was a one-shot deal. It was then or nothing. And the door was locked. So I walked next door to a bar and was drinking Wild Turkey. And some guy taps me on the shoulder and says, “You wanted to see me?” So I finished my drink and went over and talked to him and said I’d join. And seven days later I was going through the process. I called my mom and said, “Guess what? I joined the military. The Marine Corps.” She says, “Why don’t you come home for dinner?” So everyone was there. , It was the first time we'd all been together in a long time. I stayed away because I was embarrassed. In the town I lived in, the people wouldn't let me talk to their sons or daughters. So my father says, “You’re not going to make it. They're going to make you feel like a dog. You don't have the discipline. ” And I was just quiet and ate. And I said, “Well, I'm going to give it a shot." Yellow Footprints In this culture, everything and everybody is insulated against harshness and danger. A man can live his whole life and never know whether he is a coward or not. And I think he should know, don't you? John Berryman to James Dickey The Marine: So I was put on a plane and flown down to South Carolina. At night. They always fly you in at night because it disorientates you. And we got on a bus and drove around for an hour in circles. Then the guy gets on the bus and says, “Your heart may belong to Mommy, but your ass is mine. You're in the United States Marine Corps now. So get out and walk in the yellow footprints.” Two hundred and eight years of traditional yellow footprints. So you get out and they snarl at you and yell at you. And you get to the barracks and they say, “Through these doors the finest men are made. ” And I was scared. I mean, I didn't shit for a week, and I didn’t piss for two days. And you sit down at these desks and they make you empty your pockets. And you see switchblades and bags of dope and people brought tennis rackets and all this shit. And about half the shit they threw away. And the other half they kept. I mean, if you can get a good switchblade, you keep it. So you sit back down. We didn't sleep for 48 hours. It is part of the brainwashing technique. And they gave us two minutes to shave. I saw guys with these full beards, and they’d come out after committing hari-kari on their faces. So they put us to sleep for 3 or 4 hours. And then we went and got our haircuts. And it’s really funny because when they give you the haircut, you lose all identity. It's like Samson. It really is. I mean, I had long hair, naturally curly. It was probably my best attribute. And I was walking by, smiling. I thought I still had my hair. And I'm smiling into this mirror. And the drill sergeant yells, “Get out of there!" And I'm back in the yellow footprints. Experience is One o f the Forms o f Paruipsis Eric Satie / think I could turn and live awhile with the animals They are so placid and self-contained They do not sweat and whine about their condition They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. Walt Whitman The Neanderthal Ideal is a reversion to the primitive. The complexities of life, with their torturous alternatives, are simply solved by rejection of the rational and evocation of the physical. Male Survival Harvey E. Kaye, M.D. camp completely tempts me, because it’s basic, stripped down, a place to begin. In a world where our attributes are enhanced and our assets admired (DIG THAT BUSTLINE), it is appealing to enter a world judged only on skill and will — to live bald among bald. I think we baby boom babies goofed up really. That we have been tagging along with our minds, nakedly failing at finding our footing. Technologically, theoretically ... we are speeding. But very few of us seem to adapt. We’ve got the theories. But we’ve been imitating the slick workings of our machines, striving for their objectivity, while ignoring our hearts. If you press THIS button, THAT should happen. It is logical. It is mechanical. It is mathematical. But we are human. We are not machines. Man/Man. Woman /W o man. Byte /B ite. We have been conditioned. But we have not been programmed. And our theories don't work. (Conversation between a firmly married man and a firmly unmarried woman in 1983) She: I’ll never live like you. He: Why not? She: Because I grew up like that and I didn’t like it. He: But it’s been historically proven. She: I don’t care. I’ll never live like that. He: But HOW are you living?? She: Ummmmm . . . See, the, e are just too many breakups. And too many ex's. And there are too many walls being built to enclose shattered hearts. I am not pliable enough to be so damn cool. And follow the whims of my mind. My mind's been precocious, ingoring the ancient wisdom of my heart. Epps. Grits and Grunt The shoulder muscles are tense and often hunched up; the buttocks are held in tightly. The leg muscles are tense and the chest is puffed out. Feelings and emotions are restricted and held tightly within; very little, if any, tenderness is acceptable or physically possible in such a body. What used to be praised as excellent military bearing I have since discovered to be a habitual and defensive immobilization of the body and often the personality as well. Tenderness is Strength Harold C. Lyon, Jr. The Marine: I’ll give you an example of a typical day in the first phase of boot camp. O.K. At 5 a.m. a garbage can is thrown down the center of the barracks and the lights are turned on. “Get off the rack! Get your motherfucking (Excuse me. I'm gonna have to get raw.) asses up! Two sheets and a pillowcase!" And you gotta pull your rack apart, three or four times. “You’ve got 30 seconds to lace your boots!" They're going on and on. I’ll never forget my senior staff sergeant. Jesus Christ. I thought he came from hell. I was really scared of that one man, although actually I got to meet him later and we went out and had a drink and had a really good time. They they'd make us run down the staircase, get in formation, and they'd march us to chow. We had 5 minutes to eat: grits fried eggs, toast, french toast. Get it and go. And a glass of bug jucie (Koolaid, no sugar. That hurts.) And when the first guy is done, you all got to I Your heart may belong to Mommy, but your ass is mine. be done. And you had to put your dishes behind the plexiglass cafeteria thing and hit your head against the glass. And grunt. To see how tough you are, I guess. We try and foster some sort of mystique about military life. You’ve seen examples in John Wayne movies. Sands of Iwo Jima stands out in my mind. Jack Webb. We foster the pode, prestige, physical training. It appeals to the macho instincts. Marine Recruiter, Portland, Oregon The Marine: You can't believe how tough it is. I'll give you a for instance. We were doing this torture-type thing. I don’t like to say torture because these kneejerk type liberals will start going, “Oh, my son, my son." But we were out shaking blankets for about an hour and we needed another guy from another platoon because we didn’t have enough for all the laundry. (A platoon is 80 guys, and about 10% wash out. Some of the toughest guys I thought would make it, washed out. And some of the weakest pussies that I thought didn't belong, made it.) But anyway, we were shaking out blankets, and we get this one guy from another platoon and then they say, “OK. Thank this guy." And so about 80 guys are surrounding this guy and pounding on him and grunting. You jump. You jump. Well, I don't really want to go into atrocities, because later on, I’m telling you, the training pays off. All that training makes a Marine. When you talk about making a Marine, you're talking about a lot of abuse, but you're also talking about a lot of pride and dedication and loyalty and integrity and justice. When you make a Marine, you make a man. And there’s a difference. Phallic Thrusting When Congress declared war on Germany in 1917, American men wanted some satisfaction for themselves. The theme of manliness protruded again and again, nowhere more graphically than in the hundreds of enlistment posters, such as the one depicting a gleeful sailor riding a torpedo into the ocean like a cowboy. Ah Men Burt Avedon A sexual revolution might destroy what men do so well together away from women: the making of His-story, the making of war, the triumph of phallic w^- About Men Phyllis Chesler IF hallic will. Thrusting outward. Is this manliness?? Thirteen years ago, I used to bellow at Boyd Who got punched out in bars That women didn't need To thrust outward. I said I never felt that kind of aggression. And he said, “Hogwash.” That I was stuffing the urge. And that my mind was thrusting outward with the violence of any phallic thruster. Three years ago I had an argument with the poet Marjorie. She said we’d better be ready to pick up our guns because it was rapidly coming down to a shootout. I said I’d never be able to do that. That it was outside the realm of possibilities. She said, “Hogwash." B a il Don't Want to Be An Asshole (The Bi k) T 1 his is the part about manhood that I will never understand. The thrusting part. And the needing to conquer and rule part. I don't care if you have more than I do. It isn't a matter of survival. It’s not even close. I won’t fight you. I won’t pin your arms back, grab at your neck, and grip at your collar. I WON’T SCRAMBLE FOR GOODS. There’s no need yet. r The Marine: Atrocities. You want to hear atrocities. Well, I call them good times. Like when we first got there. We had to put all our stuff in this little footlocker. And they'd kick them open. And we had to scoop everything back in real quick. And they'd do it again. And again. I lost a lot of equipment. But then I got smart. And started grabbing everyuone eise's stuff. And then I had more than I started with. That’s just survival of the fittest, I guess. Part of the training. I say Hogwash. You are scrambling for the contents of a footlocker. For the scramble. Now where’s that at?? It seems over the edge into fascist stupidity. Little boys playing Lead With Your Flexion. Becoming the best is a great goal. But wanting the most is just greed. And greed soils the purity. Deuils or Angels: Women on the Rack I t was about here that the interview began deteriorating fast. The rawness began to get sloppy. And women ... as a topic . . . was right around the corner. The Marine: It was my job to be an asshole. I could be a real asshole. I was told that if people ain't bitching, you ain't doing your job. You HA VE to be an asshole. Marines are animals. We abuse women, children and other men. The Marines are also, though, the nicest people alive. They are the most polite. They'll calkeverybody Mam. And they are really shy. Let's put it this way: I can go up to a girl in a bar and come off like a real smoothie. But if I know that girl, I can be shy as hell. I mean, a Marine is a weird animal. What to take to Parris Island 1. One full slip (white or pink, average length) 2. One medium/long girdle (white) 3. Five Bras (white) 4. Two pair hose (skin tone) 5. Seven panties 6. Hairbrush 7. Comb 8. Bobby pins 9. Hair rollers 10. Blowbryer 11. Eyebrow tweezer 12. Sanitary items 13. Emery board 14. Fingernail clippers 15. Safety razor 16. Bath robe (plain type) 17. Sleeping garments (preferably pajamas) Marine Corps Women’s Training Manual The Marine: See, the strongest influence on today’s military is America’s mothers. They can really put the screws on people. It really gets weird. And the women Marines?? Well, I knew a woman Marine from my hometown. We used to call her Sweet Tooth. She was the town whore. In fact, most women Marines are whores. I mean, they play off guys. I knew one girl. And I plugged her. And 6 Clinton St. Quarterly
so did half the other people In the battalion. And she got pregnant. And she didn't know who did it. And then she broke some rule. And they went into her room. And they found her diary. And she had every guy's name and cross-references and how good he was in bed. And everything. Well. . . not all women are like that. But let me put it this way: they’re going to get ahead. I mean, they do it on the outside. But in the military, it’s more prevalent. It gets really frustrating. They’ll butter up some old crank. Women don’t belong in the military. Administrative work, fine. But out in the field, get them outofmyhair. They are sickening. I mean, what do women always carry around with them? Goddamn purses. Look how insecure they are. What’s the first thing they do when they get upset? They grab their purses. And they swish them around. You don’t need that. Or when they see a kitty or a rabbit. And they say, “Oh, how cute. Oh. ” But if I take that rabbit and break its goddamn neck, what are they going to say? They're gonna say I'm a warmonger or something. A killer. What the hell? It’s the goddamn Marine Corps. Two hundred and eight years of tradition. Oh, poor rabbit. They should be able to take that thing and bite the damn head off. Man, they’re supposed to be Marines. That really upsets me. Oh Really?? / 1 t this point, the Marine was getting red in the face. And I was ripping flesh furiously from my cuticles. I rushed downstairs and made coffee. And we both chainsmoked about 45 cigarettes. Then he left. I immediately called up a friend and ranted and raved about (excuse me, I have to get raw) fascist cocksuckers. I ran into the Marine about a month later. I was actually quite glad to see him. And vice versa. He was raving about the fear in the people in Portland. And about how nobody wanted the Truth. They wouldn’t listen. He was thinking strongly about returning to the Corps. The Marine: / came out here to readjust. I don’t really understand this life anymore. I can stay here for six months and be a complete asshole. And then go back to New England and be my new self. Because, as I say, I went in a punk, and I came out a man. And I’m sitting here thinking what am I going to do with my future. And now my future is here. And it’s raw. I think what I’d be doing if I didn't go in. I’d probably be working some shitty little job. The same shitty little grind. I’d probably be married. And she'd be bitching at me because I ain’t making enough damn money. But now look at me. I’m independent. The most I’m in debt is $ 500 to Sears. That’s $ 22/month. But I’m having a hard time readjusting. I’ll go back to New England. Live in the woods. I don’t want to be a hermit. I’ll have a job. But I’ll build my own house with my own hands. Out there people respect your privacy. Not like my little apartment building where everybody’s gotta know your business. Hell. For four years everybody knew if I farted one night. But now that I'm out, I miss the Marine Corps. I miss the prestige of being a Marine. are conditioned to feed. Men take the en- tropic energy of modern life and thrust outward with it. They punch. They pound. They scream. They grunt. And women take the entropic energy of modern life and swallow it. The poison fruit. And it turns into depression. And sadness. And pain. The methods we employ to defend ourselves are of different design. We are different. The Marine got angry at the end of the interview. He said some truly obnoxious things about women. He was frustrated at women for going after what he considers HIS goods... is what I think. BeMarines are animals. We abuse women, children and other men. The Marines are also, though, the nicest people alive. They are the most polite. They’ll call everybody Mam cause the goods are limited enough. And the competition is fierce enough. And life is hard enough . . . without the womenfolk nudging the Marine’s stability. And knocking down historical.limits in which he believed. And from which he drew strength. It isn’t even his fault. So the Marine got mad. Instead of intellectualizing his anger. Or sublimating his anger. Or swallowing his anger... the Marine got mad and began ranting. He didn't get mad at me. He didn’t kick the coffee table. He didn't smash the tape recorder. He just picked out a scapegoat and ranted. Fine. He processes his anger his way. And I process my anger my way. And to tell you the truth, on a personal survival level, I think he’s got me beat hands down. My anger still filters through my brain, no matter how loudly I forbid it. And it tries to find something else to call itself. Anything else. Because anger, being loud, is so undignified. That s it. — No substitutions! bountifu 913 S.W. Alder Portland, Oregon 226-4129 OUR FINEST PIZZA S PORTLAND’S * OUR CHEESE is whole milk Mozzarella. * OUR SAUCE is a unique recipe prepared each day from whole tomatoes, fresh garlic, select herbs and spices! * OUR DOUGH is handmade every morning at 5 am. (8 am N.Y. time) * OUR TOPPINGS are fresh and * OUR PROMISE is to make everything fresh. We won't skimp on ingredients! TRY A SLICE OF NEW YORK Thank God Tm The Girl I suppose like any other boy I had one best friend in the neighborhood His name was Eugene and he was bigger Than I was and one year older. Eugene used to whip me pretty good. We fought all the time. Charles Bukowski The Bee now it is time for the wrap up. I have interviewed the Marine.- I have read all the books I could find on manhood. I have slowly sucked on all the information, like a piece of hard candy, for weeks. And I have hoped to be left with some sort of lucid taste in my mouth from which I could derive this elusive point. And what am I left with? WOMEN AND MEN ARE DIFFERENT. That’s it! There is no blame! Men are conditioned to hunger. And women Desolation Now But the point-point of this article — what I actually learned from the whole process — is that I am not as modern as I thought I was. And neither are you. And all values developed before 1965 are not hogwash. Our instincts are as old as the hills, and not very antiseptic. Thick, theoretical thought cannot convince them into slickness. Anger, jealousy, hate, pride — all these emotions we have tried to neutralize and process away — are of the heart and gut — just as is love. They are instinctual. They are of the earth. So, on the one hand, I salute the Marine’s primitivism because it is also of the earth. Grunting and thrusting as a means of release is appealing. Especially since choking on my own emotions, caught in modern mental blockages for too long and thus released in a fermented state, has really been making me sick. But on the other hand, brutality, fascism, imperialism — and breaking the necks of innocent little bunnies — cannot be justified. No way. They, I am sure, are distortions. The resolution?? Well, it’s rather old and well-worked, but again, it seems to always work in a clutch: FOLLOW THY HEART FOR IT HOLDS THE WISDOM OF THE AGES. i used to dream radical dreams of blowing everyone away with my perceptive powers of correct analysis I even used to think id be the one to stop the riot and negotiate the peace then I awoke and dug that if i dreamed natural dreams of being a natural womarf doing what a woman does when she’s natural i would have a revolution revolutionary dreams Nikki Giovanni Bravo, Nikki! And viva la revolution. Leanne Grabel is a writer living in Portland whose last CSQ article was “Sub in the City.” Susan Gofstein is an artist living in Seattle. Signed, sealed and delivered! The Famous "Expose Yourself to Art" Poster Signed by Bud Clark Portland s Next Mayor ^25°°each Add S2.50 for UPS Shipping & Packaging. Proceeds from the sale of signed posters will be used to pay the deficit incurred by the Bud Clark for Mayor Campaign Enclosed please find my check for $ for _ poster(s). Iwould like my poster to read: ___________________________ Name______________ Address______ City &State Zip ________ Make check or money order payable to: Bud Clark for Mayor Campaign Send to: ART-FLASHES P.O. BOX 10889 Portland, Oregon 97210 Clinton St. Quarterly 7
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SURVIVAL ON THE NUCLEAR BATTLEFIELD e did it! We finally put everything we sell — from architectural and engineering supplies to graphic and fine arts materials — all together in one terrific catalog. From the number of people who have asked for this we suspect we've got a best seller on our hands, so order your copy early. Come by the store or send a check or money order for $3.50 — and get your very own first edition Shannon's catalog, now. Send your check to: Shannon & Company 605 S.W 10th Portland. OR 97205 503/228-6237 Clinton St. Quarterly 9
John Naisbitt MEGATRENDS Intelligently Altered DRAWING BY TIM BRAUN i t could be argued that the success of the bellwether environmental policies of Oregon was motivated by economic development. Visit-but-don’t-stay Gov. Tom McCall wasn’t so much anti-industry or anti-growth as he was aware of the fact that Oregon’s biggest industries — timber, agriculture, tourism — depended on a healthy natural environment. They weren’t industries that had to be catered “The decentralization of America has transformed politics, business, our very culture... State and local govern ments are the most important political entities in America.” recently been floundering, its many clones (Floating Point, Metheus, etc.) and a host of recent arrivals (including Intel, Wacker) have made Oregon the 9th largest concentration of electronics companies. Yet the promise of the electronics field is not without problems, and it’s certainly no panacea. Steven Deutsch, a University of Oregon professor whose special areas of interest include state economic development and labor-related issues, sounds warnings against throwing all our eggs into the high- tech basket. A recent study of U.S. labor statistics by Stanford University showed that only 6 percent of the national workforce is in the high tech field; only 8 percent of the new jobs provided over the next 20 years will come from there. Of these, only a few will be in the glamorous, high paying upper echelons of management. Most will be in low paying, unskilled, poorly union represented and possibly dangerous positions. Yet recruiting these companies is the linchpin of the Atiyeh plan for economic recovery. Ed Whitelaw, a University of Oregon economics professor, is president of ECO Northwest, Ltd., a private consulting firm. He was also on Gov. Atiyeh’s economic advisory council for two years. He claims that Oregon policy-makers, both Democrats and Republicans, have been oblivious to or ideologically suspicious of alternatives to recruitment for some time. Whitelaw mentions a few exceptions, ranging the state political spectrum from Republican Larry Campbell to Democrat Barbara Roberts. Bill Street, labor market economist for Eastern Oregon for the to with tax breaks, lax regulatory processes or other questionable incentives. Along with an environmentally clean, economically healthy homegrown electronics industry, those businesses allowed us to be socially progressive in environmental and lifestyle issues. That complacency was challenged by the 1980-82 recession, when Georgia- Pacific moved out to Atlanta, and when Hyster, Evans Products and scores of timber-related firms shut down or severely cut back operations. Though business has picked up, overall the state is still reeling and readjusting. Construction activity is still down, with interest rates keeping residential construction on the rocks, and West Coast timber is losing its eastern market, which has more than two- thirds of the nation’s population, to the non-union, less-distant South. Many of our agricultural commodities face similar obstacles in the marketplace. And tourism has never returned to pre-embargo levels, though it has been on the rise. Only the electronics industry has maintained and improved on its recent record, so much so that it is now being touted as our saving grace. Though Tektronix has I A/ hile Oregon’s economic recovery has lagged far behind the F F nation’s, we’ve been treated to the spectacle of a peripatetic governor in search ofthe holy grail—newindustry, preferably non-polluting. From the golf courses of Hawaii to the shores of Tripoli, we are told he’s cutting deals and greasing wheels, in our best interest, of course. And though he’s had his successes, the state continues to languish. Where he’s failed to look is where our best hope may lie — the innovative, self-sustaining economic plans being implemented and developed in a number of states. If we are to return to the forefront of the social and economic currents now flowing elsewhere, we must draw strongly on both our deep-rooted traditions and the best we can learn from those exercising1 leadership elsewhere. We're two full years from relief from the Atiyeh program, a time we must make the most of. OUT OF THE WOODS “Oregon shouldn't be a hussy throwing herself at every smokestack that comes along.” Tom McCall 10 Clinton St. Quarterly
^ 3 ^ Magaziner, international business hose states which are truly blazing Ra h t o io d n e s Is b l y a n c d a , pf i a ta cl t i i s ot n /la a bliz o e r, d D fo e r m g o e c n r e a r t/ Republican and ethnic divisions, recently saw its voters reject one of the most far- reaching economic development programs ever designed by a state. The badly- defeated referendum on the $250 million, seven-year industrial revitalization plan which promised to create 60,000 new jobs in the tiny state, sent its proponents back to their drawing boards. Yet, the compact received unprecedented support from the state’s major political leaders, the AFL- CIO, Chamber of Commerce, minority and women’s organizations and all five major newspapers in the state. Though the political will was lacking, largely because the economy had improved, bluntopposed to trickling it down), through community development corporations, worker owned co-ops and various entrepreneurial approaches; 3) strong support of public education, research and development. In rapidly, often traumatically changing times, this serves as an investment both in information, and a disciplined, creative intelligentnew ground building their ing the immediate need for the overhaul, it opened new avenues of possibility for such programs. Tagged the Greenhouse Compact, it was conceived by 35-year-old Ira state Employment Division, says the AFL- ClO submitted one of the best plans in the state to the legislature, including detailed research and recommendations concerning in-state pension fund investment, best use of the business and resource base peculiar to Oregon, assistance and retraining for displaced workers, the problems of plant closures and the tax structure. But they lacked the political power to push this agenda through. Another exciting program is Lane County's Buy Oregon effort, which connects local businesses that are not currently doing business together (see box). The object is to create jobs by replacing imports. Created on a literal shoestring, the program was cited as one of “10 Innovative Ideas” by the Joint Legislative Committee on Trade and Economic Development. No single strategy will pull us out of our malaise. We must build on our strengths, fortify where we are weakest and learn from the best models available. What really seems to be blocking development in Oregon is the Janus-like nature of our state’s persona. One face is the independent maverick, the free-thinking pioneer with roots in the ground to whom people/ nature-centered quality of life is more important than the quick returns (and blights) of politics/business-as-usual. The opposing face is that of the cranky hermit, the ignorant provincial who shuns the invasion of the real world, struggling to maintain the pristine wilderness of innocence even to the point of poverty and disarray. Though the innocence has faded and we’ve become more brazen, courting all and sundry, a look at other states’ efforts in the area of economic development shows we’re currently playing the benighted crank rather than the intrepid scout. sia to make the most of it; and 4) strong maintenance of the public facilities (roads, sewers, schools, etc.) and policies (such as zoning and annexation requirements) which are the underlying requirements for any form of economic expansion. While the objective worth of such alternative programs is often dismissed, knee- jerkily, on ideological grounds (excessive governmental intervention in the marketplace), it is one of those deliciously simple twists of fate that the most progressive programs today are virtual blueprints for the old conservative ideals of states’ rights, self-reliance and entre- preneurialism. consultant who led a ’60s student rebellion at Brown University and 44-year-old Terrence Murphy, head of the state's largest bank. Keyed to the maxim “Allowing the marketplace simply to eliminate jobs and bankrupt regions is not appropriate in a civilized society,” a Strategic Development Commission laid out a plan based on massive research into the state’s economy. Magaziner reported in the Dec., 1983 issue of The Entrepreneurial Economy, that “our commission and its 139 volunteer researchers carefully examined all aspects of the Rhode Island economy, analyzing 35,000 corporate tax returns, interviewing officials of more than 500 companies, tracing 3,650 new companies and examining 178 failed companies over the past 11 years. “We concluded that foreign competition was threatening industries with 55% of the key jobs in the state. Industrial wages ranked nationally ahead of only Mississippi and North Carolina. Our goals became to develop new industries more insulated from foreign competition, and help older industries strengthen management, switch to more profitable products and find new markets, and to raise the average hourly industrial wage to within 10 or 15% of national levels .. Outlined in the plan were financial incentives to existing companies which would have created new jobs or worked to pull them out of the economic'quagmire. It proposed loans to companies creating new products or with reasonable hope of getting out of the red. The most innovative element was “grant notes" for each $8-per-hour job created. Companies maintaining these jobs for at least four years would have had to pay back only the interest on the notes; others would owe the principal. economies have drawn from a populist blend of both liberal and conservative ideas, a transcendence of the us-vs.- them conflicts of the past. Central to the development programs of several leading states are elements of these four approaches: 1) the diversion of large reserves of state employees’ pension funds from international common stocks and bonds into investments chosen for their potential to both create jobs and bolster the state’s economy; 2) legislation and grants designed to stimulate growth from the bottom up (as I M0 SINGLESTRATEGYWILL PULL US OUT OF OUR MALAISE. WE MUST BUILD ON OUR STRENGTHS, FORTIFY WHERE WE ARE WEAKESTAND LEARN FROM THE BEST MODELS AVAILABLE. “The centerpiece of our plan,” Magaziner states, “... are four non-profit research centers — ‘greenhouses’ — to develop high technology products and new techniques. We are looking at several fields, including robotics, cancer drugs, gerontology, underwater electronics, clinical trials for new medicines and medical techniques, and ‘thin’ film materials for semiconductors, aircraft engines and other industrial uses.” Other planks included matching grants for firms which would establish day care centers, special employment programs RHO DE ISLAND’ S G REENHO USE Clinton St. Quarterly 11
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