"What's Wrong?" "Wh a t 's wrong?" asked Betty, feigning I in te re s t in her mate. "Do you have a I problem with the idea of frying muffins I on a portable aluminum g r i l l ? " " I t ' s not th a t ," said Wilmer. " I t ' s something about the equipment I'm holding in my hand. I t ' s too large or something— I don 't know. I know I look distinguished and my t i e has spots on i t , placed there by the manufacturer, but I feel awkward somehow and th a t makes me grumpy. You know how we men a r e ." "I know th a t you haven't shown one b i t of In te re s t in th i s aluminum cooking device th a t folds into a small, easy to carry package about the size of a rodent co ffin . Sometimes, Wilmer, I re a l ly wonder." "Wonder about what, Nancy?" asked Du-Wayne, appearing suddenly with a model airplane he had constructed from cheese scraps. "Want to see th is baby zoom about, careening o ff rooftops and endangering nearly | “ I everything in i t s path?" "No, I don 't Du-Wayne," said Betty. "But thank you for asking. The spectacle you M describe sounds both exciting and repellen t a t the same time. Do you believe in dua l i t ie s?" "I don 't believe those two concepts ■ create a dua lity , Betty," replied Du-Wayne, W l waxing h is a i r c r a f t with bee honey. I "I'm going to enter th i s beauty in the model I airplane pageant they hold each year in Blsmark, Utah. Maybe win me a can of Spam." "Is th a t your highest aspiration? " i ' . ' : asked Wilmer, suddenly losing In te res t In ■ h is telephone. "As the chief executive | o ff ice r of a major corporation, I'm paid to I ask questions like th a t . I can barge in any time I want and ask any question I want and I get a check every week. Of course I'm a laughingstock wherever I go but I t doesn 't bother me because I'm in absolute control. See I how i t works out? I plan to die of a heart attack in s ix to eight months, God w illing. "Betty, by the way, th is telephone unit Is I no damn good. I'm going to crush i t to the -■ ground. Have you noticed, Incidentally, tha t ■ ■ If you look a t i t upside down I t resembles an a e r ie l view of a duck in a Darth Vader mask?" "No, I haven 't, Wilmer," said Betty, I folding up her aluminum g r i l l . "And by the way, I Du-Wayne, my name Is Betty. Betty Hooper. | I'm going to a party tonight. Want to come? I 'd | love to be accompanied by someone who c a n 't remember who who I am. I think you can see the appeal." "well, no I c a n 't ," said Du-wayne, | suddenly c o n t r i te . "I can see how I t might I hurt your fee lings." Model Engines Drive Iceboats 130 Miles Per Hour or 140 miles Pe r hour Speeds up to ^ a n d a r d { o r racmg over ice and snow het-driven craft, model ^ “fou ^ tee l runners, are a cross mounted on a n d model airplanesbetween racing e • d e i gasoline air They are they are plane engines. In comt a n d raced taehed to the end o ‘ c om'se. Some against time over a. cu e q u i p p ed ^ ^ n S l s for straightaway races- * and GrtU JANUARY 1947 Barbecue grill and “^ / c o n s t r u c t e d of a rustproof outdooi ^ ^ g Supporting fc r s e inches thick- „ i«48 the C ln continuous o p e ^ ^ / n/ r d Scottish Rnval Scot of the o£ o f f ering Railroad ^ o r e years than any n er Guards Phone Talks Silencer conversations are Private telephone com sr t r a n s wuts b - an attachment tna loW guarded n, ’ when at a v<>J S The desk p b " ^ psere, car. be msUd the imporL. . h;me-up W0' ' , those between 88 L „ t speech improved and 2000 cycles that pro- ^ lum fc while are reduced m dure blaming 8^ X d W & ' A * * * "Oh, you can?" said Betty, sa rc a s t ic a l ly . "That's in te re s t ing . Why don 't you t ry including th a t element of s e n s i t iv i ty in your day-to-day personality? You might get a job as a personnel o ff ice r in a sewage treatment f a c i l i ty . " "I'm going to f in ish gluing these Porky Pig decals on my a i r c r a f t and leave," said Du-Wayne. "I may be immature but I have a winning smile, and, like your husband I suspect, adore wearing business a t t i r e in a ru ra l environment." As Reported By French country cooking in an elegant atmosphere at refreshingly low prices. "The kind of place everybody is looking for." (Roger Porter and Karen Brooks, Sept. 1986) • Full Bar • Free Parking • Non-Smoking Restaurant • Major Credit Cards Accepted Seating from 5:30 to 10:00 pm Mon. - Sat. 1987 N.W. Kearney, Portland For Reservations 295-6487 Clinton St. Quarterly— Fall/Winter 1988 33
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